By Adewale Ademuyiwa, Advanced CBT Practitioner & NHS Trauma Specialist
Last Updated: November 2024
About the Author: Adewale Ademuyiwa is an NHS-trained CBT therapist with over 20 years of mental health experience, including 11 years specializing in CBT and 9 years as a fully qualified advanced CBT practitioner. He holds a Postgraduate Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy from Anglian Ruskin University and has worked extensively with trauma survivors through NHS mental health services, including specialized roles in community psychiatric care and early intervention teams.
🚨 If you're in immediate danger: Emergency 999 | National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 | Samaritans 116 123
In my two decades of helping emotional abuse survivors through the NHS, I've discovered something powerful: the right words, at the right time, can rewire trauma responses. These aren't just inspirational quotes—they're carefully selected therapeutic tools based on cognitive-behavioral principles and extensive clinical experience.
As survivors of emotional abuse, your internal voice has likely been hijacked by your abuser's words. "You're worthless." "No one will believe you." "This is your fault." These become automatic thoughts that perpetuate trauma responses long after the abuse ends.
The 228 quotes in this guide serve a specific clinical purpose: they provide alternative cognitive scripts to challenge abuse-related thought patterns. Each quote is selected to support different stages of trauma recovery, following evidence-based therapeutic principles I use daily in my practice.
Clinical Insight: In my practice, I've observed that abuse survivors carry what we call "cognitive distortions"—automatic negative thoughts implanted by their abuser. The following quotes specifically target self-blame, worthlessness, and helplessness—the three most common distortions I treat.
Emotional abuse doesn't discriminate. It affects everyone differently and is just as prevalent in relationships as in other areas of life. After 20 years of clinical work, I need you to understand this fundamental truth: emotional abuse is never your fault, and healing is always possible.
1. "You are not a prisoner of your past, but a builder of your future."
2. "Silence is a weapon for the oppressed, but your voice is a tool for liberation."
3. "A flower cannot bloom in darkness, but in the light of self-love and acceptance, anything is possible."
4. "Do not let the words of others define you, for you are the master of your own story."
5. "You are not alone in your pain, and healing is possible with support and understanding."
6. "Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, you too can rise above the hurt and become stronger."
7. "Just as a diamond is formed under pressure, so too can you be transformed through your struggles."
8. "The road to healing may be long and winding, but it is worth it to reclaim your power and self-worth."
9. "Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you too can break free from the constraints of emotional abuse."
10. "You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, do not settle for anything less."
Clinical Note: Research shows that repeated exposure to positive self-statements can create new neural pathways, gradually replacing trauma-based automatic thoughts. I encourage clients to read these affirmations daily, particularly during moments of self-doubt.
From my clinical experience, survivors need constant reminders of fundamental truths that abuse obscures. These quotes address the core beliefs that abuse systematically destroys.
11. "A river may be blocked, but it will always find a way to flow."
12. "Do not let your past define you, for you are so much more than what has happened to you."
13. "You are strong, capable, and deserving of love and happiness."
14. "Like a seed planted in fertile soil, you have the potential to grow and flourish."
15. "You deserve to be heard and believed, do not let anyone silence your voice."
16. "The darkness may seem overwhelming, but remember that even the smallest light can chase it away."
17. "Like a tree that stands tall through the storm, you too can weather any emotional abuse."
18. "Do not let anyone make you feel small, for you are worthy of love and respect."
19. "You are not defined by your struggles, but by your resilience and strength."
20. "Like a bird soaring high in the sky, you too can rise above the hurt and find freedom."
21. "You are worthy of love and care, do not settle for anything less."
22. "The past may be painful, but it does not have to dictate your future."
23. "Like a sunflower turning towards the light, you too can find hope and healing."
24. "You are not a victim, but a survivor, and your story is one of strength and courage."
25. "Do not let anyone make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself."
26. "Just as a river carving its path, you too can forge your own way to healing and growth."
27. "You are not weak for feeling hurt, but strong for facing it and seeking help."
28. "You deserve to be loved and valued, do not accept anything less."
29. "Like a rose growing through concrete, you too can thrive despite any emotional abuse."
30. "Do not let anyone make you feel ashamed for speaking out against abuse."
31. "You are not defined by your scars, but by the strength it took to heal them."
32. "Like a warrior, you have the power within you to overcome any emotional abuse."
33. "You deserve to be treated with love and kindness, do not let anyone make you feel otherwise."
Clinical Insight: Shame is the most persistent symptom I treat in abuse survivors. It's different from guilt—shame says "I am bad" while guilt says "I did something bad." These quotes specifically target shame-based thinking patterns.
34. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling trapped, but you have the power to break free."
35. "You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Do not accept anything less."
36. "Leave behind the negative words and actions of an abuser and step into a world of self-love and acceptance."
37. "You are not defined by the abuse you have suffered, but by the person you choose to become."
38. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling broken, but you have the ability to mend yourself."
39. "It takes strength and determination to heal from emotional abuse, but you possess both."
40. "Like a rose growing through concrete, you will rise above the abuse and blossom into a stronger, more beautiful version of yourself."
41. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling isolated, but there is a community of support waiting for you."
42. "You are not weak for falling victim to emotional abuse, but you are strong for seeking help and healing."
43. "Leave behind the darkness of emotional abuse and step into the light of hope and healing."
44. "You deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated with love, respect, and kindness."
45. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling worthless, but you are worthy of love and happiness."
46. "It takes courage to leave an emotionally abusive situation, but it is the first step towards healing."
47. "Like a bird breaking free from its cage, you will soar above the abuse and fly towards a brighter future."
48. "Emotional abuse can leave deep scars, but they do not have to define who you are."
49. "You are not alone in your journey to healing from emotional abuse. Reach out for support."
50. "Leave behind the negative effects of emotional abuse and step into a life of self-love and empowerment."
Clinical Insight: In CBT, we know that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. Changing behavior can shift both thoughts and emotions. These quotes are designed to motivate the protective actions necessary for recovery—setting boundaries, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care.
51. "Surviving emotional abuse is like breaking free from chains that have held you captive for far too long."
52. "Empowerment comes from within, not from the manipulation and control of an abuser."
53. "Freedom from emotional abuse is the first step to reclaiming your self-worth and happiness."
54. "Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, you will emerge stronger from surviving emotional abuse."
55. "Abuse robs you of your dignity and self-respect. Refuse to let it steal your future."
56. "You are not alone. Reach out for support and begin the journey to healing."
57. "Leave behind the darkness of emotional abuse and step into the light of self-discovery and strength."
58. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling broken, but you are not beyond repair."
59. "Do not let the words and actions of an abuser define you. You are worthy of love and respect."
60. "The journey to healing from emotional abuse is a courageous one. Believe in yourself and your strength."
61. "Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing. Break the cycle, reclaim your mind and your life."
62. "You do not deserve to be treated with anything less than kindness and respect."
63. "The scars of emotional abuse may never completely heal, but they do not have to define you."
64. "Stand tall and proud, knowing that you have the courage to rise above emotional abuse."
65. "It takes immense strength to walk away from an emotionally abusive relationship."
66. "You are not responsible for the abuse inflicted upon you, but you are responsible for your healing."
67. "Like a flower blossoming after a storm, you will flourish after surviving emotional abuse."
Clinical Insight: Through my NHS work with trauma survivors, I've learned that rebuilding a sense of personal agency is crucial. Abuse systematically removes survivors' sense of control. These quotes specifically target what we call "internal locus of control"—the belief that you can influence your circumstances.
You have the power to make positive changes in your life, and you don't have to do it alone. Taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally is not selfish—it's necessary. Surround yourself with people who make you feel valued and respected.
68. "Emotional abuse may have stolen your voice, but it cannot silence your spirit."
69. "You are worthy of love and happiness, do not let an abuser convince you otherwise."
70. "Leave behind the shadows of emotional abuse and step into the sun of self-discovery and strength."
71. "Healing from emotional abuse is a journey, but it is one worth taking for yourself."
72. "You are not weak for falling victim to emotional abuse, but you are strong for rising above it."
73. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling lost, but you have the inner strength to find your way."
74. "The past cannot be changed, but the future is yours to shape, free from emotional abuse."
75. "You have the power to break the cycle of emotional abuse and create a life of happiness and peace."
76. "Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you will emerge stronger and more beautiful after surviving emotional abuse."
77. "Do not let the abuse of one person tarnish your view of the world and of yourself."
78. "Leave behind the hurt and pain of emotional abuse and step into a brighter future."
79. "You are not defined by the abuse inflicted upon you, but by the strength and resilience you possess."
80. "Emotional abuse is not a reflection of your worth as a person, but of the abuser's character."
81. "It takes great courage to walk away from an emotionally abusive situation."
82. "The road to healing from emotional abuse may be long, but it is worth it for your own well-being."
83. "Like a tree rooted in the ground, you must stand tall and strong, and not let anyone shake or weaken your foundation."
84. "Surviving emotional abuse is like climbing a mountain - it's tough, but the view from the top is worth it."
85. "Emotional abuse is like a poison - it slowly eats away at your self-worth, but with time and support, you can heal."
86. "You are not alone in your pain. Reach out to others and let them support you on your journey to healing."
87. "Silence can be golden, but speaking up against emotional abuse is crucial for reclaiming your power."
88. "Just as a flower needs sunlight to grow, you deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship."
89. "Emotional abuse is a storm, but you are the rainbow that will come after it."
90. "You are not defined by the hurtful words and actions of your abuser. You are strong and deserving of love."
91. "Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is like breaking free from chains that have been holding you back."
92. "Healing from emotional abuse is a journey, but you are the captain of your own ship."
93. "Your abuser may have tried to dim your light, but you are a shining star that cannot be dimmed."
94. "Just as a phoenix rises from the ashes, you will rise above the emotional abuse and become stronger."
95. "You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise."
96. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling broken, but you are not shattered. You can be put back together."
97. "Stand tall and know that you are worthy of love and happiness."
98. "Emotional abuse can leave you feeling lost, but remember that you are worthy of being found."
99. "A healthy relationship should make you feel like a garden in full bloom, not a wilted flower."
100. "The past may be painful, but it does not define you. You are capable of creating a better future."
Clinical Insight: Emotional abuse survivors often experience either emotional numbing or emotional overwhelm. In my practice, I use what's called "emotional validation"—helping clients understand that their emotional responses are normal reactions to abnormal situations. These quotes normalize the healing process while providing emotional grounding.
Like a ship that has weathered a terrible storm, those who have survived emotional abuse may feel damaged but not defeated. Just as a ship has navigational tools to guide it to safe harbor, you too have inner resources and external support to guide you toward healing and recovery.
In my clinical experience, I've learned that recovery isn't about returning to who you were before—it's about discovering who you're meant to become. Just as a ship can adjust its course to navigate changing conditions, you can adapt and grow stronger through your healing journey.
101. "You are not a victim, you are a survivor."
102. "Just as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, you will transform into a stronger, more resilient version of yourself."
103. "You are not defined by the hurtful words and actions of your abuser. You are strong and deserving of love."
104. "Emotional abuse is a cancer, but with the right support, it can be overcome."
105. "You have the power to change your story and create a happy ending."
106. "You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe and loved."
107. "Don't let anyone make you feel small. You are worthy of respect and kindness."
108. "Just as a river flows to the sea, you will find your way to healing and peace."
109. "You are not a victim, you are a survivor."
110. "Don't let the words and actions of your abuser define you. You are much more than that."
111. "Emotional abuse may have left you feeling trapped, but you have the power to break free."
112. "You are not defined by your past. You have the power to create a better future for yourself."
113. "Just as a rose needs pruning to grow, you may need to cut ties with toxic people to flourish."
114. "You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected and valued."
115. "You are not alone in your journey to healing. Reach out for support."
116. "Emotional abuse is a thief, stealing your self-worth and happiness"
117. "Empowerment comes from within, not from the abuser."
118. "Break the chains of emotional abuse and fly free."
119. "A flower cannot bloom in a toxic environment."
120. "Leave the past behind and embrace a brighter future."
121. "You are not alone in your struggles with emotional abuse."
122. "The sun will always shine again after a storm."
123. "Find the strength within yourself to leave an emotionally abusive relationship."
124. "A bird in a cage may sing, but it is not truly free."
125. "Take control of your own happiness and leave the abuser behind."
126. "You are more than what the abuser says you are."
127. "A diamond is not formed under pressure, but in the absence of it."
128. "Take the first step towards healing and leave the abuser behind."
129. "The rose may have thorns, but it still blossoms beautifully."
130. "Leave the past behind and pave a new path towards freedom."
131. "There is no beauty in emotional abuse, only pain."
132. "Escape the darkness of emotional abuse and find the light."
133. "A caterpillar cannot become a butterfly while still in the cocoon."
134. "You deserve to be treated with respect and love."
135. "The storm may rage, but the sun will always rise again."
136. "Leave behind the abuser and find the strength to rebuild."
137. "A caged bird may sing, but it will always long for freedom."
138. "Find the courage to leave an emotionally abusive relationship."
139. "A tree cannot grow in a soil poisoned by emotional abuse."
140. "You are worth more than the pain of emotional abuse."
141. "The phoenix rises from the ashes and so can you."
142. "Leave behind the toxicity and find your own healing."
143. "A bird cannot fly with broken wings."
144. "Take the first step towards healing and leave the abuser behind."
145. "You are not defined by the abuse, you are strong and capable."
146. "The storm may be fierce, but the rainbow always comes after."
147. "Escape the cycle of emotional abuse and find your own strength."
148. "A flower cannot bloom in a toxic environment."
149. "Leave the past behind and pave a new path towards happiness."
150. "You are not alone in your journey towards healing."
Clinical Insight: Emotional abuse systematically destroys a person's sense of identity. In my therapeutic work, I've seen how survivors often say "I don't know who I am anymore." This phase focuses on self-discovery and rebuilding an identity separate from the abuser. The following quotes support what we call "identity work"—the process of rediscovering your authentic self.
An important aspect of healing is learning to love and care for yourself. Just as a garden requires tending to flourish, you must also prioritize your own well-being and growth. This isn't selfishness—it's survival and recovery.
From my experience working with hundreds of trauma survivors, I've learned that healing is not a destination but a ongoing journey. It's not something that happens overnight, and it's crucial to be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout this process.
151. "The sun will always shine again after a storm."
152. "Find the courage to speak out against emotional abuse."
153. "A bird in a cage may sing, but it is not truly free."
154. "Take control of your own happiness and leave the abuser behind."
155. "You are more than what the abuser says you are."
156. "A diamond is not formed under pressure, but in the absence of it."
157. "Leave the past behind and pave a new path towards freedom."
158. "There is no beauty in emotional abuse, only pain."
159. "Escape the darkness of emotional abuse and find the light."
160. "A caterpillar cannot become a butterfly while still in the cocoon."
161. "You deserve to be treated with respect and love."
162. "The storm may rage, but the sun will always rise again."
163. "Leave behind the abuser and find the strength to rebuild."
164. "A caged bird may sing, but it will always long for freedom."
165. "Empowerment awaits those who break free from emotional abuse."
166. "A bird cannot fly with a broken wing, and neither can you while in an emotionally abusive relationship."
167. "Silence does not mean weakness. It takes immense strength to walk away from emotional abuse."
168. "Like a flower blooming in the desert, you too will flourish after leaving an emotionally abusive situation."
169. "You are not alone in your struggle with emotional abuse. Reach out for support."
170. "Freedom from emotional abuse is a journey, and it starts with the first step of recognizing it."
171. "Healing is a process, and it is never too late to start."
172. "It's time to break the chains of emotional abuse and fly towards a brighter future."
173. "Emotional abuse is not love. True love lifts you up, it doesn't tear you down."
174. "Recovery from emotional abuse is a powerful reminder that you are strong, worthy, and deserving of love and respect."
175. "Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is not giving up, it's choosing yourself."
176. "Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, you too will rise above emotional abuse."
177. "Silence does not mean consent. Speak up against emotional abuse."
178. "You have the power to change your circumstances and create a better life for yourself."
179. "Emotional abuse is not love, it's manipulation. Don't be afraid to walk away from it."
180. "A caterpillar must leave its cocoon to become a butterfly. It's time for you to break free from emotional abuse and soar."
181. "Victim no more. Survivor and thriver, that's who you are."
182. "Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing. Don't let it define you, break free from it."
183. "You are not weak for staying in an emotionally abusive relationship, but you are strong for leaving it."
184. "Like a seed planted in fertile soil, you too have the potential for growth and healing after emotional abuse."
185. "It's time to reclaim your power and take control of your life."
186. "Emotional abuse is not normal. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness."
187. "Like a lighthouse guiding ships to safety, let your inner strength guide you through the storm of emotional abuse."
188. "You are not alone in your journey towards healing from emotional abuse."
189. "Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship is not giving up on love, it's finding love within yourself."
190. "Emotional abuse is a form of control. Don't let it control you any longer."
191. "Like a river carving its way through the mountains, you too have the power to shape your own path and overcome emotional abuse."
192. "It's time to speak out against emotional abuse and break the silence."
193. "You are worthy of a love that lifts you up, not tears you down."
194. "Emotional abuse is not love. It's a cancer. Cut it out of your life."
195. "Like a rose growing through concrete, you too have the strength to overcome emotional abuse and blossom."
196. "You have the power to create a better life for yourself and it starts with leaving an emotionally abusive relationship."
197. "Emotional abuse is not love, it's a prison. Break free from it."
198. "Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you too have the ability to transform and leave emotional abuse behind."
199. "Empowerment begins the moment you take responsibility for your own emotional well-being."
200. "Abuse is like a toxic weed, it may seem small and manageable at first, but if left untreated, it will suffocate the life out of you."
Clinical Insight: The final phase of trauma recovery involves developing hope and creating a future vision that doesn't center around the abuse. In my practice, I've seen that survivors who can envision a positive future heal more completely. These quotes cultivate hope, resilience, and forward momentum.
In my clinical experience, healing doesn't mean forgetting or forgiving the abuser—that's a harmful myth. True healing means moving forward and creating a life free from abuse while honoring your experience and strength.
Surviving emotional abuse is a difficult and painful process, but with the right tools and support, finding freedom and healing is absolutely possible. I encourage you to practice self-care and self-compassion throughout this journey.
201. "Healing is not linear, it's a journey filled with dips and turns, but with patience and support, you will reach the destination of peace."
202. "When the roots of emotional abuse run deep, it takes time and effort to uproot them and reclaim your life."
203. "Recovery from emotional abuse is like planting a garden, it takes time, care and nourishment to grow."
204. "You are not defined by the abuse you've suffered, you are so much more than that."
205. "Emotional abuse is like a storm, it may rage on for a while, but it will eventually pass."
206. "Victimhood is not a permanent state, it's a temporary place on the way to healing and strength."
207. "Emotional abuse is a form of manipulation, don't let it control you anymore."
208. "Leaving an emotionally abusive situation is like breaking free from chains, it may be painful, but it's necessary for your freedom."
209. "Emotional abuse doesn't have to define you, you have the power to rewrite your own story."
210. "Recovering from emotional abuse is like building a castle, it takes time and effort, but the end result is worth it."
211. "Emotional abuse is a form of suffocation, don't let it take away your breath any longer."
212. "Healing from emotional abuse is like climbing a mountain, it may be difficult, but the view from the top is worth it."
213. "You are worthy of love and respect, don't let anyone convince you otherwise."
214. "Emotional abuse is a form of imprisonment, don't let it hold you captive any longer."
215. "Healing from emotional abuse is like learning to swim, it may be scary at first, but with time and practice, you will find your footing."
216. "You are not alone in your journey to heal from emotional abuse, there are people who care and want to support you."
217. "Emotional abuse is like a poison, it may seem harmless at first, but it will slowly consume you."
218. "Recovering from emotional abuse is like learning a new language, it may be difficult, but with time and patience, you will become fluent."
219. "You are not weak for staying in an emotionally abusive relationship, it takes immense strength to leave."
220. "Emotional abuse is like a dark cloud, it may seem overwhelming, but it will eventually pass."
221. "Recovering from emotional abuse is like putting together a puzzle, it may be frustrating at times, but once it's complete, the picture is beautiful."
222. "You are not defined by the actions of your abuser, you are in control of your own story."
223. "Emotional abuse is like a cage, it may seem secure, but it's limiting your potential."
224. "Healing from emotional abuse is like learning to fly, it may be scary at first, but once you soar, the freedom is worth it."
225. "You are not responsible for the abuse you've suffered, the blame lies solely with the abuser."
226. "Emotional abuse is like a storm, it may be violent, but it will eventually pass."
227. "Recovering from emotional abuse is like rebuilding a house, it takes time, but you can create something beautiful and strong."
228. "The journey to healing may be difficult, but it is worth it to reclaim your power and self-worth."
As a CBT practitioner, I recommend using these quotes as part of a structured approach to healing:
Daily Practice:
Journal Prompts:
Crisis Support:
While these quotes offer support and validation, they are not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Emotional abuse creates complex trauma that typically requires comprehensive therapeutic intervention.
If you're currently experiencing abuse:
Recovery is a process that takes time, professional support, and community. These quotes are tools to support your journey, not the entire solution.
Crisis Support:
Finding Professional Support:
Specialized Abuse Support:
I offer specialized CBT therapy for emotional abuse recovery, drawing on over 20 years of NHS experience and advanced training in trauma treatment. My practice focuses specifically on helping survivors rebuild their lives through evidence-based cognitive-behavioral techniques.
For CBT Therapy with Adewale Ademuyiwa:
For immediate crisis support only: Emergency services (999) or Samaritans (116 123)
Remember: You deserve support, you deserve healing, and you deserve a life free from abuse. These quotes are reminders of your strength—let them guide you toward the professional help and community support that can make recovery possible.
This therapeutic resource is based on 20+ years of clinical experience helping emotional abuse survivors through NHS mental health services. The quotes and framework align with NICE guidelines for trauma-informed care and evidence-based psychological treatments.
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