Why do you sometimes reject yourself?
Rejecting oneself is a natural consequence of growth. We all stumble and fall on our way to self-awareness. As long as we are learning and maturing, we will always have something to learn and grow from.
However, if you only always criticize yourself, you'll never have a chance at happiness. The negativity robs you of your joy, your zest for life, and your capacity for happiness. It weighs you down and prevents you from becoming a high-energy, high-achieving person.
However, when you can stop self-criticizing by choice, you stop obsessing about things you can't change. And you develop a deep sense of personal power and a newfound sense of freedom and confidence.
Would you love this to be your experience?
But also don't over exaggerate the negatives. You've got some amazing successes and some major disappointments. Remember the "WHY?" for the major ones. Also, remember not to fool yourself by undermining the minor ones. They are all important an necessary.
Make your fears conscious. Figure out what your rational fear wants and why it is causing you to criticize yourself. Unknown to most, fear is not always irrational. In fact, sometimes, the very thing we are most fearful of is actually the very best thing for us!
Determine the situations that are causing you to put yourself down. Take note of the negative emotional reactions you get in certain types of situations or around certain people. These situations are most likely to cause you to feel self-doubt, anxiety, inadequacy, etc. Then Be mindful of how you expose yourself to these situations.
Find facts and evidence to support each of your new beliefs. And remember… evidence is anything that proves the truth of your new belief. Also, beware of how your personal truth filter interprets your evidence.
Tell someone about the negative belief – it will help you see it differently. But stay a mile away from confiding in family members, especially if they tend to jump to conclusions against you. The point is to get this negative thought out of your head so you can look at it from different perspectives.
Rehearse counteracting responses to your negative thoughts and beliefs. Repeat this process every day until your criticism reduces. Once mastered, this can be the fastest way to eliminate your feelings of failure and inadequacy and replace them with feelings of power, control and great competence.
Whenever you catch yourself being self-critical, stop and think... "What I am trying to accomplish by criticizing myself." And then, "Is it worth it? Am I willing to pay the price to have these feelings and have them persist?" If the answer is no. look for something else to pay attention to.
Learn to deal with your feelings using healthier things – don't fight with them, don't numb them out with food, alcohol or drugs. Instead, try the Bonjela technique or attention training. The goal here is to create a new normal for you, and these are healthy ways increased energy and vitality.
Don't make huge decisions when you are feeling pressured or emotional. We are all prone to making "wrong" decisions in that mind frame. Instead, wait until you have a clear head and a reasonable amount of physical and emotional energy.
Go on a mini-break. Take time off from trying to change every time you feel yourself getting discouraged and tired. Rest. Recover. Recharge your batteries. Go on a little vacation and take some time for yourself. This will recharge your emotional, mental, and physical batteries and give you the enthusiasm and positive motivation you need to continue the struggle.
Avoid comparing your current situation to some imaginary past standard of perfection. Avoid comparing your current situation to some imaginary past standard of perfection. instead, reset your slate and start again and again.
If you must compare anything, only compare other people's failures and mistakes to yours. Don't compare your mistakes to other people's successes. That just steals your joy and messes with your reality.
You'll have a life that is much more exciting and has much greater opportunities for fulfilment. You'll experience more joy, more love, and much less pain.
Finally, this may surprise you...
It's a big misconception that self-criticism is always negative... That self-criticism is purely about judging yourself harshly for having imperfections.
The truth, though is that as you battle through life uncertainty, self-criticism is your brain's ally alerting you to all the genuine parts of yourself. The good and the bad... The gems and warts.
Done right, self-criticism can help you become fully aware of all the aspects of yourself and your life in a way that enriches you with value and meaning.
And today, with the 13 sparkling suggestions above, you've got the tools to make self-criticism a healthy player in your life today.
Have you been having a hard time dealing with problems and difficulties.
Doubting your ability to succeed... And keeps stress blocking your ability to perform at a high level.
Your nerves are always on edge, your emotions are always easily triggered and this regularly causes you to question everything about yourself and your life...
With Our Take Back Control Program, you will learn healthy coping habits that help you breakdown your “brick wall” of stress and failure.
You can learn to control your thoughts and emotions and gain a clearer sense of direction and purpose. This will help you to take more control of your life... And help you live the life you deserve.
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