In the quiet corner of a bustling coffee shop, Claire sips on her lukewarm latte, her hands trembling ever so slightly.

She’s made it here!

Now, she is just a stone's throw away from the door of her home, yet the task of leaving feels insurmountable.

Today, her phobia treatment feels like it has hit a brick wall, and she wants to give up, feeling defeated by the overwhelming anxiety.

Can you relate?

You’ve been making steady progress on your fear by exposing yourself to your fears.

Starting small, you’ve worked your way up to being able to walk across low level fears confidently. But today, you have the challenge of facing one of your biggest phobia triggers, going to the other town...

As you drive to the towering bridge on the outskirts of town, your stomach tightens into knots. Your chest feels heavy. Taking deep breaths, you remind yourself how far you’ve come already, determined to overcome this hurdle.

One third of the way, your footsteps feel shaky. Sweat drips down your forehead and your heart starts hammering. Daring a glance down at the raging dual carriage way in front, vertigo hits you like a truck. Gripping the steering until your knuckles turn white, you freeze.

Overwhelmed with panic, your mind screams at you to turn back. “I can’t do this! What if I have a heart attack here? I need to go back!”

Feeling like a failure, your spirits sink. After all that progress, you’re no further along in conquering your ultimate fear. The voice inside urges you to give up on exposure therapy before you push too far and really lose it.

Is it  supposed to be this hard?

Levelling up in exposure therapy isn't a smooth sail. 

This process won't be easy or without discomfort. It is expected and normal to experience higher levels of anxiety as you "level up" and face harder situations. This is similar to a strenuous workout—moving to heavier weights or a more difficult exercise routine is challenging and can cause physical discomfort.

As you step out of your comfort zone and venture into the uncertain and frightening, you will naturally experience an anxiety spike.

 This surge isn't a sign of impending doom; but rather it's a normal part of the process indicating that you're pushing your boundaries and the therapy is working. It's a sign that you're beginning to face your fears instead of avoiding them.

The initial discomfort is your body adjusting to a new 'normal' and is a temporary state. 

As with physical training, this discomfort is part of your body (or in this case, your mind) adjusting to new challenges. Just as your muscles might ache when you start a new exercise, your anxiety might spike when you face a higher level of fear in exposure therapy.

Power tip 1: The emotional turbulence is not your enemy

The emotional turbulence you feel is not an enemy you need to conquer.

The feelings of anxiety, fear, or discomfort that you might experience whene exposing to your fears should not be viewed as a problem to be defeated or eradicated.

 Instead, these emotions can serve as indicators or guides showing you where your fears or anxieties lie, and therefore, where you need to focus your therapeutic efforts.

Anxiety often arises in situations where we feel uncertain, threatened, or out of control. While it's uncomfortable, this anxiety can help highlight areas in your life that you find challenging. By pointing you towards these areas, anxiety essentially provides a roadmap for your therapeutic journey, showing you where you need to focus your efforts in order to grow and build resilience.

Power tip 2: Always choose progress over perfection

As you battle this anxiety attack halfway across the bridge, it’s easy to fall into black and white thinking - either you make it to the other side or you fail. But that’s a perfectionist illusion. Real progress happens in small baby steps, not giant leaps.

Winning means moving forward, even inch by inch - not necessarily reaching the finish line in one try. So focus less on speed and more on direction. Give yourself permission to take it slow.

Remember when you first started the therapy? Just making it a few feet was a big win at the time. And look how far you’ve come since! Be patient and celebrate each little victory.

You may need to pause where you are now and let the anxiety wave crest and fall before taking another step. That’s okay! This is not a race. Listen to your body.

Imagine learning how to walk as a baby. Falling down over and over wasn't failure - it was practice. Each stumble strengthened your muscles until one day you made it across the room. Like that baby, you’re going through a growth spurt now.

Power tip 3: Capitalize on your confidence compounder

As hard as it feels right now, remember that sticking it out against anxiety has a compounding effect on confidence.

Once you make it fully across this bridge while managing your panic attack, it will reinforce your self-belief that you can handle tough challenges.

Each exposure therapy success, no matter how small, provides evidence that you can tolerate discomfort and override the urge to quit when your anxiety screams.

This builds self-efficacy - the belief in your own abilities. Each time you prevail, your courage muscle strengthens.

Picture yourself finally stepping off the bridge on the other side, panic subsiding. How will making it across make you feel? Proud? Powerful?

Hold onto that vision of future confidence. Let it pull you forward now. Know that one day heights won't faze you because you pushed your limits here today.

Your anxiety does not define you. But overcoming it does. Staying on this bridge builds the identity of a brave person who faces adversity head-on.

Keep adding victories, big and small, and your self-belief will grow. Your future self is cheering for you. Persevere through the anxiety and expand your courage. You’ve got this!

Power tip: 4 Sieze the next chance to embrace the growth mindset

The most empowering realization in this journey is recognizing that anxiety isn't a fixed, unchangeable trait. It's a response that can be rewired and improved with consistent practice over time.

You're not destined to live in the shadow of anxiety; you hold the power to challenge and change your brain's fear response for good.

Neuroscience shows that with consistent, challenge-level practice, we can literally rewire neural pathways in the brain related to anxiety. Your phobia has shaped your brain, but you have the power to reshape it.

Exposure therapy leverages neuroplasticity - the brain's ability to change. As you repeatedly enter feared situations while preventing avoidance, new connections weaken old fear associations over time.

So if you feel like your height phobia will always constrain you, don’t believe it! What feels hardwired today could feel manageable months from now with diligent practice.

Reflect on your progress so far. Weren’t elevators once paralyzing? Didn’t walking certain bridges alone seem impossible a short time ago? Remember, change is happening beneath the surface.

Trust in your brain’s incredible capacity to adapt. Stay motivated knowing all the effort you’re putting in is transforming your neural pathways related to anxiety.

With a growth mindset, you create your own potential. Stepping out of your comfort zone leads the way. Your phobia will steadily shrink in the rearview as you walk forward with courage.

Finally.

Flip anxiety into  your super power

Next time you're face-to-face with anxiety, remember it's not a roadblock—it's a stepping stone for growth.

It's okay to feel the struggle, it's part of the process. Celebrate every bit of progress, even the small victories, they all add up. Keep pushing forward.

Every step, no matter how tiny, is a win against anxiety.

Don't throw in the towel just yet; your journey is only getting started. You're stronger than you think, and with each challenge, you're becoming even stronger. So take a deep breath and keep going. You've got this.

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