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Got high-functioning anxiety? Avoid 5 costly mistakes that could cripple you emotionally

And avoid living life popping from therapy to therapy

You know that feeling...

The feeling you get as soon as you wake up in the morning...

Telling you it's going to be a bad day.

You have no evidence for this, but you've had to battle this gut-wrenching tension so many times before.

It's the day you feel vulnerable inside.... 

And you have to muster all your energy to breathe and calm yourself down throughout the day,. 

Because when you feel like this, you can't really experience your life. You don't enjoy your job, you don't enjoy family, you don't sleep well, you don't eat well.

It's like anxiety is ripping you apart limb from limb.

But you've got to keep the mask on (Like your life depends on it)

Because your reputation is at stake. You can't let people see through the cracks and find out who you really are.

So you try to obliterate all the weaknesses you see in yourself. 

You devour self-help books and articles.  You spend a fortune in therapy trying to be a strong, independent person. Trying to change your emotional reaction to things.

But in that moment of weakness...

When the potential for failure overshadows you...

You repeat the same old mistakes. Clutching at straws. Doubting your decisions. Predicting the collapse of your entire world.

So you conclude...

“ This proves I am weak. I am not normal like everybody else.

Because whenever I think I've gotten stronger, some problem occurs and my internal reaction to it proves that all my  efforts to get over my weaknesses are in vain.”

If you can relate, please take note...

It’s not your fault! Here's the true culprit

There’s a complex mountain of barriers creating this emotional dilemma.

You see most people, have no idea of what the hindrance to coping is. 

And as someone who struggled with high functioning anxiety, I've had to spend the last 20  years figuring it out myself.

You see, to start coping better emotionally with your anxiety...

Your efforts must address the correct neural pathways in your brain repeatedly. This is simply the fastest way I have found.

But just in case that sounds like scientific mumbo jumbo. I'll reveal what it all means in clear language in this article.

I'll first reveal the mistakes to avoid.

Then I'll show you exactly what to do to address the correct neural pathways. So you can achieve emotional resilience successfully.

But WARNING!

Some of the things you'll read in this article will feel like a bitter pill to swallow.

So as you read, please keep in mind that I am revealing these concepts to you out of love. I'd hate to sugar coat anything and risk you missing out on information that could save you years of suffering.

Okay, let's dive in.

How to 10X your ability to cope better emotionally (Backed by the science of neuroplasticity)

What's neuroplasticity?

Neuroplasticity simply means plastic neurons or mouldable brain cells. The term was first coined by a neuroscientist called Jerzy Kornorski in 1948.

You see, the popular theory was that once our brain fully develops, it becomes an unchangeable structure.  They believed development stopped somewhere around age 38.

Now, science has revealed many evidence that the brain is always developing. And the changes to its structure continues right up until old age.  

These changes occur as you interact with the world around you.   Your brain cells connect together to form neural pathways as you think, act and get exposed to situations.

Thicker neural pathways result in automated thinking and behavioural patterns. And the automated behavioural patterns contribute to our habits and personality traits.

For example...

The man who plans and structures everything in his life in order to avoid mistakes. Now feels jittery and vulnerable inside all the time. And he wonders why he can't stop doubting himself. But never links this sense of weakness to his reliance on structure.

Essentially, the stubborn weaknesses you see in yourself have only become hard to break because of repeated use.

That’s why they have become automated. 

It's got nothing to do with you being too weak to change.

And here's the great news!

The GOOD NEWS of neuroplasticity is that your neural pathways are not set in stone. 

You can reverse any neural pathway.  And gain freedom from those stubborn weaknesses. 

The trick is to work on reversing the correct neural pathways. and do this repeatedly.

This is the most important point of this article so it bears repeating.

To change and start coping better emotionally, your efforts must be repeated. And your efforts must address the correct neural pathways.

In other words...

You can build yourself a better stronger brain so you don't keep feeling like a nervous wreck.

You can build a brain that helps you feel more in control of yourself.

You can build a brain that helps you become emotionally resilient.

And you won't have to keep up the facade that you are coping anymore because you'll actually be coping.

But to show that I am not just talking rubbish...

Watch this true-life testimonial of a lady who achieved remarkable changes in her life by working with her neural pathways.

As you watch, look out for how she discovered the correct neuropathways for her problems.  I believe you will be pleasantly surprised and encouraged.

Then I will walk you through how to use neuroplasticity to conquer anxiety problems.

Video: How this woman literally changed her brain using neuroplasticity

Amazing, isn’t it?  Seems almost like a miracle.

But...

How can you  harness the power of neuroplasticity to win your personal battles against anxiety?

And how do you know what the correct neuro pathways are?

I will be revealing that in a moment...

First I'd like to highlight 5 huge mistakes that will turn neuroplasticity into a powerful force against you. They'll drown you in a sea of self-destructive thoughts and habits. And turn you into a slave of therapy sessions for years.

Here are 5 costly mistakes that could cripple you emotionally when struggling with high functioning anxiety

Mistake 1: The false safety trap

Do you get those "healthy me days?"

For a day, a week a month or even few months, you feel like your anxiety's better. You feel stronger and more confident in yourself. Like anxiety can't affect you anymore.

Then the thoughts creeps in...

Maybe you can get rid of your medication. 

Maybe you can ditch all those tedious strategies you've been learning. 

But is anxiety really gone? 

BEWARE!

This is an insidious trap because...

Like most people discover, one-day anxiety will attack you again out of the blue. For no rhyme or reason. You wake up and that familiar horrible feeling in your gut is there again.

But there's an even bigger trap here.

You see...

You'll never overcome anxiety problems.

Not because you are weak.

And not because the strategies don't work.

But because your "healthy me" days stop you from practising any strategy consistently enough to master them.

Mistake 2: The commitment trap

“I need to try harder to overcome my weaknesses... Because weaknesses will hold you back if you don't overcome them.”

Clara, a 2nd-year university student told me,

She reeled out her weaknesses.

"Repeatedly getting into problems with friends because I always avoid confrontations. When someone says something bad about me, I never stick up for myself. 

So, lots of people take advantage of me and treat me like rubbish.  But still, I never do anything about it.

And I am forever thinking about how I am not doing well enough with my studies.

I understand that thinking situations are going to take a turn for the worse is not going to make anything better. But my understanding this doesn't seem to help me change my bad thinking habits.”

Like many people, Clara's commitment to change became frustrating and energy draining. 

Nothing changed no matter how she tried.

But then we noticed something rather bizarre...

When we dug deeper into Clara’s attempts at coping, we discovered she was committed to using the same strategies in the same ways.  Even though they were not working.

Why was Clara falling for the same mistakes over and over?

Could it be that Clara wanted to inflict pain on herself on purpose? 

Why would she allow herself to be stuck in this cycle? 

She was intelligent. I mean she worked her way up to university. so these repeated blunders wasn't because she was stupid. 

Why was she so committed to failure?

But here's a bigger question...

Are you making a similar mistake?

Because...

If in spite of screaming at yourself to toughen up...

And in spite of all the breathing techniques you do...

You still get bombarded by uncontrollable internal panic.

Could this be because you have fallen into this commitment trap too?

I shared my thoughts on what was happening with Clara. And this enabled her to overcome her negative cycles. She became more emotionally resilient to anxiety.

I will tell you what I shared with Clara in a minute, first let's move on to the second emotional mistake.

Mistake 3: The serial dater's trap

Say what?

I know...

It sounds strange. Here's the connection.

Do you often feel like you've tried everything, to cope better emotionally,  but nothing works?

If you do, there’s a high chance you have fallen for the serial dater's trap. This trap makes people fall into a pattern I refer to as STRATEGY HOPPING.

like a cheating boyfriend hopping from girl to girl, never finding satisfaction. You keep hopping from technique to technique never finding emotional freedom.

And just like the serial dater who's unable to commit and stick through the rocky road of building a strong relationship, You pick a strategy from a self-help book or from therapy, and you try the suggested technique...

Maybe ONCE or TWICE...

Then you give up on the strategy because it's not giving you the outcome you want...

And then you hop onto another strategy, give that a try....

And on and on it goes...

You fail to commit to any strategy for long enough. And you keep following this pattern day after day, week after week, year after year.  

No Joke!

I have seen people who have unknowingly followed this pattern for over 50 years.

Imagine living with anxiety for 50 years.

But it get's worse...

Like the false safety trap, the curse of strategy hopping is that you convince yourself that nothing will ever work for you. And you'll become totally despondent and potentially suicidal.

Mistake 4: The domino effect trap

I have a question for you.

When a technique fails to work, does this mean that the whole strategy is faulty? Maybe it just works for other people but not you because your situation is different.

Or is it possible that you are just not be applying the strategy correctly?

You see, any given strategy worth its salt tends to be multifaceted. As such, you've got to be doing the correct things in each step of the strategy.

For example...

One strategy for dealing with negative thoughts requires that you go through the following steps:

Step 1: Observe the negative thoughts and predictions you experience.

Step 2: Catalogue the thoughts and predictions.

Step 3: Identify the feelings these thoughts generate

Step 4: Identify the negative reactions and outcomes you have because of these thoughts.

Step 5: Challenge the thoughts and predictions. find the evidence for and against them.

Step 6: And then finally produce a more rational and functional thought and predictions.

Every step of this strategy is vital. If you do any one of the steps incorrectly, the whole strategy collapses like a pack of dominoes.

So, no matter how long you try this strategy for, you'll always experience defeat because of that one incorrect step.

Now, assuming that you are following each step of the strategy correctly. The rule of thumb is to try repeatedly at any given strategy for at least 30 days before giving up on it.

Boy!

Doesn't that sound like a lot of work?

If you've got to master each step of a strategy first and then practice for at least 30 days to get results. Think how many years that would take.

What if you have to learn and master more than one strategy.

For example, If you've got to deal with low self-esteem and confidence issues. And you have got to deal with social anxiety and worrying all the time. And you then you've also got to deal with past hurtful memories that keep haunting you.

Gosh! you could be at it for years with no let-up.

It sounds daunting, doesn't it?

That's why later, I will be revealing a far simpler approach. This strategy requires you to master only one technique. 

But before I tell you what this strategy is, here's the 5th and final trap.

Mistake 5: The emotional weakness trap

If you've got high functioning anxiety...

Chances are that this is because society has brainwashed you to focus all your efforts on your weaknesses.

So, for example, society tells you to... 

“Stop being lazy.” 

"Stop being so sad and boring." 

" Stop worrying so much." 

“Stop thinking only about yourself.” 

“Try to be more proactive.” 

“Stop putting things off until it’s too late.” 

“Stop being so antisocial.”

And you listen to society because you believe that if you can stop doing all those things, you can propel yourself forward. And become stronger.

But in reality, focusing on your weaknesses like this will skyrocket your stress. Do this and you naturally work on the wrong neuro pathways.

In fact, you strengthen the pathways that work against you. 

Now you are thinking,

“But Adewale, it’s helpful that you are telling me what not to do, but I need to know what I should actually be doing. You are still not telling me how to focus my efforts to cope in the right direction.”

Okay... okay. You've twisted my arm.

I am going to reveal the solution now.

But Warning...

You'll tell me I've gone crazy.

You simply won't believe me.

I certainly didn't believe it when I figured it out myself.

So here is the solution...

How to harness the power of neuroplasticity to win your battles against anxiety

The solution to coping emotionally, and gaining control over your anxiety is to...

  1. Figure out what your strengths are and then...

  2. Consistently reduce reliance on specific strengths so they stop weakening you emotionally.

Huh!

I know it sounds wrong but over the last 20 years...

This is the only strategy that has consistently freed my clients from their life of anxiety.

However, note that I said specific strengths.

Because some of your strengths are two-edged swords. They act like holes in a bucket of water. They sap your energy and overload you with anxiety whilst pretending to help.

But before you tune me out saying..

"But I don't have any strengths, this is total nonsense."

Here is an example...

One of your strengths may be that you are good at pinpointing problems that will cause you, anxiety and pain.

How is this a strength?

Pinpointing problems fast helps you to deal with problems before they impact you. This could save you from many distressing experiences.

But, the more you rely on this strength, the more this strength gets burnt into your neuro pathways.

Until it becomes your default reaction.

It becomes habitual.

And before long, you find yourself worrying about everything, even things you know don't warrant worrying.  And this places you on edge all the time. So any tiny pressure easily sends you into full-blown panic. 

Leaving you vulnerable for all the world to see.

However, if you reduce reliance on this strength. By not trying so hard every second of each day to catch problems before they happen. And maybe use just an hour of each day to focus on dealing with problems practically. 

You'll find that your anxiety will reduce naturally. And the tension in your body will also dissipate.

Reducing reliance on strengths like these is the secret to working on the correct neuropathways. This is the secret to breaking free from anxiety problems.

But a word of caution.

It's easy to pick the wrong strengths to work on.

And if you make this mistake, you could actually make your anxiety problems 10 times worse.

That's why I have prepared a special video series on how to do this correctly. 

This video series is entirely free and I will be releasing it soon.

In the video series...

  • I reveal how to make sure you are focusing on the correct strengths (neuro pathways) so you can avoid the disasters that can occur when you focus on the wrong strengths.

  • I'll show you an amazing (easy to learn) three-part technique that helps you reduce reliance on those strengths in a way that boosts your mental capacity to cope with the pressures life has forced on you. 

  • And you'll discover the no.1 mindset shift that can do more for you than 3 years of therapy.

Here's a feedback I got from a former client who used this concept to overcome her emotional difficulties.

"I needed to learn how to deal with things.

I just felt like I had no Idea what to try, and I was just clutching at straws...nothing was really a solution. It was just sort of temporary or just pretending that things have gotten better when they actually hadn't.

This series has helped me to think of coping like it is a skill, just like you perform a task or drive a car...

Now I am looking at situations and things I am doing differently. I now see how some of the positive things I was doing were actually creating the problems I was trying to overcome.

So generally my mood itself feels better, and I am not so down on myself. Now I am starting to feel more in control of things"

And that was her feedback.

These are the kinds of results you can get from the strategies I share in this video series,

So if you would like to avoid wasting a lifetime on "learning to cope and still getting nowhere," click the button below to request the video series. And you'll be the first to know once it's released.

Written by Adewale Ademuyiwa
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