36-positive-habits-relapse-anxiety-depression

Free Email Series: How To Avoid Sacrificing Your Job Because of Anxiety And Depression.

Ever wish you could soar over your challenges at work. Without feeling wiped out by niggling self-doubt.? If yes…

of reset button.

You can see what you are now. You can see what’s brought you here.

You've been through a lot in life, had a lot of bad times. And now you are battling anxiety and depression every single day.

But you can’t put back the clock.

You can’t go back and change what you've become.

You see, anxiety or depression on their own can be energy draining, but when they feed off each other, you simply lose the will to live.

And it's worse when you’ve had to fight these two demons every day for years, trying every medication and every therapy and nothing works.

I mean, how much pain can one person be expected to tolerate?

What is the point? What is the way out?

Are there any answers?

A generation of controlled zombies

Can I be painfully honest with you for a moment?

And I’m talking real brutal slap-in-the-face brand of honesty here. It’s going to be ugly and unexpected.

And I can almost guarantee you WON’T enjoy it.

But just in case it really annoys you, please remember that I am only telling you this out of respect to you. I want you to know the truth.

So here it is.

You know how you’ve been struggling to get rid of your anxiety and depression? Tried everything, and it’s just not working, right?

It’s because you are a Zombie.

And if you ever want to have a chance of breaking free of those hellish emotional problems, you’d better wake up.

Did I really just call you a “ZOMBIE?”

Yes, I did. Sorry.

I know I’m calling you out, but the truth is I’m doing it out of love.

Because you see, like many people, you have fallen prey to the long-term brain washing violation of society.

You have been force fed so many lies that you’ve begun to live a lie.

Your Family members, friends, teachers, doctors and therapists have been lying to you.

Everyone has been lying to you.

Including me.

Everyone tells you that your problem of anxiety and depression is as a result of your dysfunctional behaviours.

We teach you strategies to address negative thinking. We dole out tips for dropping your dysfunctional habits. We give you a pep talk and make you believe that this is the only way to overcome your emotional problems.

But honestly?

There’s one really big thing we’ve been leaving out. Here it is:

The only way to overcome your anxiety and depression is by reducing your reliance on certain positive habits. Doing anything else is a total waste of time!

Now, you probably have one eyebrow raised thinking…

“This guy’s gone totally mad.”

But you know what?

I wish I was actually mad!

I wish everything I am going to tell you right now was completely wrong. Because if I am wrong, maybe many more people will actually find the path to recovery faster.

Then, so many won’t have to suffer anxiety and depression in dreadful silence for so long.

But here’s the thing…

Surprisingly, over the last 20 years of my experience as a mental health professional, I have seen a consistent pattern.

Every single person who overcame their problems with anxiety or depression did so because they relied less on certain habits that were beneficial to them.

Habits that were positive.

But here’s why we all fall prey to these habits in the first place.

The personality trap

As you read through each of the following 37 points below, you will notice a niggling voice in your head saying…

“This isn't a habit, It's a person’s personality trait.”

Be wary of that voice, because what it’s really telling you is…

“A behaviour that's a person’s personality trait CANNOT BE CHANGED?”

In other words, you are stuck with anxiety and depression forever.

There’s no hope for you.

Your fate has been sealed. Nailed to the coffin.

WARNING!

This is the zombie mindset talking!

AND IT’S ALL WRONG!

The truth is that your personality is a combination of your genetic makeup and your habits. Habits you've soaked up all through your life.

Yes...

Your genes did transfer some of the traits from your parents down to you.

But this is where things start to get interesting…

You see, science has now proven that our genetic makeup can be changed. In fact, our genes will continue to change right through our lifetime.

Your genes aren't set In stone

You don’t have to settle for the anxiety or depressive genetic traits your parents may have passed down to you.

So as you read through the lists of habits, remember that your personality is not set in stone. It can be changed.

(See the links at the end of this article for evidence that genes can be changed by continuous effort on your part)

Start challenging the habits that hold you back.

Refuse to conclude that they are behaviours that can’t be changed.

At the end of the article...

I'll show you where to download a PDF that walks you through a simple 4 step strategy for crushing the negative impact these habits have on your mental health.

So without further time wasting...

Let’s jump into the 36 habits that cause relapse in anxiety and depression.

1. The self-protection noose

Can self-protection make you more vulnerable?

If you've ever been hurt brutally and repeatedly by family or friends.

Then it's only natural that you'd want to stop anyone from hurting you again.

This skill protects you from poisonous people who can damage you with words and actions.

But it can also make you bury yourself in painful loneliness.

In addition, as you become an expert at protecting yourself, you’ll see more bad in people before seeing the good. You'll see the potential to be hurt by others before seeing the potential to be loved or protected.

Naturally, you’ll start to keep people at arm's length.

And you risk becoming socially anxious or agoraphobic. You develop the fear of embarrassment phobia. Bottom line, this positive habit can rob you of fulfilment and joy in life.

"Can self-protection make you more vulnerable?"
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2. The self-confidence tomb

Can more confidence make you weak?

Sure, confidence is a powerful habit. It can help you open doors to many enjoyable life experiences.

But, can you be so confident that you fail to notice when things are going badly for you?

You fail to see when you are putting yourself at risk.

You fail to see when you're wrong.

The result...

Many life problems collide into you by surprise. You are left overwhelmed with regrets. Constantly second-guessing yourself.

Then plagued with questions like...

“If I missed such a big problem, I wonder what else I’m missing...”

You become that person who never believes in themselves. Always cross checking every decision you make with others to avoid any more mistakes.

And before long you are painfully bouncing between anxiety and depression.

"Can more confidence make you weak?"
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3. The emotional toughness lie

Can emotional toughness make you cold and inhumane?

Did your parents tell you to "be tough?"

They always said, “don't cry.”

If you are playing sports and you get injured, they said: "No, that doesn't hurt, just get up.”

With this habit, showing emotions SCREAMS WEAKNESS! You want people to know you are NOT going to be messed about or manipulated.

However, this mindset stops you from treating yourself and others humanely.

Feeling ashamed of showing emotions will make you impatient, cold and hard on people. You'll expect too much from them, and you'll expect too much of yourself too.

And as self-annoyance overruns you, you're overloaded with stress, frustration, anxiety and depression.

"Can emotional toughness make you cold and inhumane?"
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4. The problem-solving madness

Can problem solving be your plague?

Sure, your analytical prowess gives you an advantage that could quickly catapult you to the top of your career.

And this skill can give you peace of mind in the correct situations.

However if problem-solving becomes a habit, It can make people rely heavily on you.

They dump problem after problem on you. And if you can’t say no, you get so caught up in other people’s problems that you neglect looking after yourself.

And the result…

You feel stressed and anxious all the time. Because your own problems surprise you like bombs in a mine field. And these surprises could be anything from Bailiffs knocking at your door to relationships going bust.

"Can problem solving be your plague?"
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5. The risk spotter's delusion

Can risk awareness prevent your progress?

The ability to spot risks is vital for protection. You've got to protect yourself from mistakes, hurts and failures in life.

But, if this ability becomes a habit, you'll find yourself constantly on red alert. You simply won't know how to relax.

The awareness of risks naturally takes over everything. It boosts your vulnerability and causes you to worry about every little thing.

This habit saps the enjoyment out of life. You become prone to panic attacks.

And at the extreme, it can promote high blood pressure and other physical health problems.

"Can risk awareness prevent your progress?"
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6. The strong minded man's illusion

Can your strong mind kill your happiness?

When you’re strong minded, you feel completely in control and in charge of your destiny. You are independent. You know what you want and you are going to get it.

However, if strong mindedness becomes a habit, you become that stubborn person who won’t budge. You believe your way of doing things is the only right way.

This rubs people up the wrong, effectively corroding valuable friendships.

You unintentionally invalidate people. Which then makes stable intimate relationships Impossible.

As such you are left lonely bitter frustrated and unhappy about life.

"Can your strong mind kill your happiness?"
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7. The self-reliance bait

Can self-reliance make you more vulnerable?

Self-reliance is often driven by the need to avoid being at the mercy of other people. You don’t want anyone to think you need their help. And you work hard against anything that would put you in such a situation.

This is great because you learn how to deal with a lot of difficult situations.

However, you’ll get drained from being so strong all the time. Because you don’t reach out quick enough when things are difficult.

Due to this habit, you’ll tend to keep quiet when you believe people will misunderstand you. And this gets worse when disappointed by people who should have your best interest at heart.

You clam up. Hold your thoughts to yourself. And this can potentially make you lonely, frustrated, irritable, and depressed and anxious.

"Can self-reliance make you more vulnerable?"
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8. Your tidiness booby trap

Can your tidiness be your nightmare?

It’s great to live in a sparkling clean house. Nothing out of place. Everything smelling fresh with a sweet fragrance. Beds crisply laid. Book shelves full of books ordered and organized like soldiers.

Hmm… That feels lovely.

But…

With this habit. You’ll find that you never have enough time to do many things you need to do. It leads to problems with lateness at work due to the classic OCD type issues.

It can be a huge source of stress and tension in your family when they don’t share your desire for tidiness.

You may end up lonely because many friends shy away from you. The loneliness then feeds depression and anxiety problems.

"Can your tidiness be your nightmare?"
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9. The busy bee's seduction

Is keeping busy draining your self-worth?

You love to keep busy.

Because this keeps your mind guarded against the pain in your life. Keeping busy shields you from the attack of everything you hate about yourself and your life.

It prevents your mind from flying at a hundred miles an hour. Flipping through one negative after another.

Sadly, if keeping busy becomes a habit, you lose the skill to cope with distressing emotions. Difficult memories and painful experiences will crumble you easily.

Because all those painful experiences and emotions are bursting to come out...

You'll explode in tears at the most unexpected and embarrassing times. Negative emotions will pop out of nowhere. And panic attacks will bombard you.

"Is keeping busy draining your self-worth?"
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10. Exercising exercising and exercising

Can exercising turn you into an addict?

You may be surprised that exercise is on this list. It's often touted as a natural tonic against anxiety and depression by most gurus.

Exercising boosts dopamine which helps to take your stress down.

Sadly, you may fall into the trap of using exercise in the same way as alcoholics and drug addicts.

In other words, you use exercise as a way to block painful emotions and memories. And since you get a temporary boost of dopamine, you keep coming back for more.

The big problem here is that you can literally spend 70 years avoiding distress. And this will keep perpetuating anxiety or depressive problems for you.

It's just what happens.

"Can exercising turn you into an addict?"
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11. The Intelligence electric chair

Is your intelligence becoming your downfall?

It's great to see the intricate connections between situations. To clearly deduce outcomes, and have the knowledge of how things work.

However, if intelligence becomes habitual, it can lead to confusion and loneliness. And this will hit you surprisingly.

As you are often thinking ten steps ahead, your Intelligence reveals pitfalls in people's plans.

And the pitfalls you see will magnify your need to protect your loved ones.

And as you see those problems beset your loved ones, your anxiety will skyrocket. Leaving you on edge all the time.

You’ll try to open their eyes to the potential pitfalls. But you’ll invalidate their feelings. Making them feel small and worthless.

They perceive your guidance as criticism. And they rebel against everything you suggest.

The end result…

You’re left feeling anxious, angry and bitter.

"Is your intelligence becoming your downfall?"
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12. The forgiveness bitter crumble

Can forgiving others become your cross?

You let things go easily. Maybe because you don’t like confrontation or maybe just out of the kindness of your heart.

And this is great because you become good at maintaining peace wherever you are.

However…

You unintentionally train the people in your life to take you for granted and treat you horribly.

But what’s worse…

The person you are forgiving may begin to place unfair demands on you making you feel like a used rag.

After a while, you to feel unappreciated, bitter, paranoid and depressed.

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13. The commitment quicksand

Could your commitment be your jailer?

You put your heart and soul into anything you do because if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

Your commitment makes you a dependable person as you’ll complete anything you’ve promised to do.

However, if commitment becomes a habit, you’ll overwhelm yourself with everything. You can’t bear the thought of leaving anything unfinished and disappointing people.

So, you work into the early hours of the morning even though it’s killing you.

But the result…

You are constantly under pressure, highly stressed and irritable. The stress makes you unkind to yourself. You put your self-care needs last.

You then grow impatient towards others. As you can’t stand people who are not committed because they keep making the same mistakes.

This habit has a tendency to generate anger problems. It takes the enjoyment out of life. And in the most unexpected way, commitment plunges you into anxiety and depression.

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14. The principled straight jacket

Can your principles make your life painful?

Principles are a good thing to have. They contribute to our sense of Identity. They help us clarify our standards and contribute to our sense of what is right or wrong.

So you may have a strong principle that your 3-year-old should not watch more than 30 mins of TV per day. And another principle that you should spend a lot of time entertaining your toddler as a parent.

Sadly, principles could become a massive source of guilt for you.

Making you feel like you are failing at the things you stand for. If your principles are so strong, they can make you miserable, depressed and anxious.

"Can your principles make your life painful?"
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15. The justice crier's meltdown

Can your desire for peace and justice dump you in depressed life?

You can’t stand the injustice you see perpetuated in the world.

When you watch something on the news that is unfair, even if it is not related to you, it bugs you for days.

Whilst this is a noble habit, In some situations, it will force you down painful emotional slopes.

Making you depressed from feeling powerless and guilty for weeks.

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16. Always prepared yet never prepared

Can good preparation make you fail?

You do your best to figure out everything about your meeting before you attend. So, you are prepared to answer any question you are asked.

This way, you avoid coming across as dumb or stupid.

But, trying to anticipate problems before they occur leads to huge paranoia. Expecting negatives become so automated that it drowns you with severe self-doubt.

Because the more you make preparations, the more you rely on making preparations.

You conclude that your preparations are the only things saving you. So you downplay your intelligence and work yourself into an anxious frenzy.

The overload becomes intense. And could spiral you into self-harm, depression and even suicidal attempts.

"Can good preparation make you fail?"
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17. The always available victim

Can your ability to take on pressure at short notice be your pitfall?

This ability can make you dependable in face of emergency.

However, if this becomes a habit, it tends to feed procrastination.

Because you get things done at short notice, you'll leave a lot of things to the last minute. And this creates a gigantic amount of stress from too many things piling up.

This habit leads to never-ending arguments in relationships. Especially if you are with someone who likes to get things done on time.

But even worse...

This habit can lead to self-loathing at work or in school.

Because your finished pieces of work will undermine your true potential. You'll always know you can do better and you'll criticisize yourself forever.

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18. The creative's minefield

Can your creativity be your demon?

As a creative person, you potentially have an over active imagination.

This imaginative mind is a beautiful thing creating art or music. But, it can also cause you to developing huge negative scenarios in your mind.

Before long you can see you and your family homeless. sleeping in a cardboard box by the side of the road.

This habit brings negatives experiences into full-blown colour movies in your mind. Potentially leading to strategies of avoidance and overcompensation.

And since creativity comes with a lot of feelings. The negative scenarios you imagine can easily push you into a place of deep despair.

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19. The new idea ass kicker

Can your new Ideas stop you from progressing?

It can be valuable, creative and super productive when you can pluck brilliant ideas out of thin air.

People admire your intelligence, and many would aspire to be like you.

This habit becomes frustrating if you struggle to see most of your ideas through to the end. You start working on an Idea, then a new idea pops into your mind taking you toward a different direction.

This often becomes a source of massive conflicts in relationships. Family members avoid you like the plague. And with business partners at work get frustrated with your ever changing plans.

You begin to feel embarrassed as people keep pointing out your lack of progress. This lead to second guessing yourself and can propagate intense anxiety and stress.

"Can your good new Ideas stop you from progressing?"
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20. The hard worker's blooper

Can your good work ethics destroy your confidence?

You believe in doing everything you do to the best of your ability.

The ability to work hard is great because it makes you dependable. And could set you up for success in your career.

However, the worst trap created by this habit is that you believe the only way to avoid bad emotions is by remaining active and energetic.

You think…

“If I stop, I’ll get depressed.” “If I stop, I’ll worry myself to death,”

Your self-worth becomes attached to your work. You’ll feel like you don't have any intrinsic purpose from just existing. You’ll prioritize work over everything else.

And the result

Anxiety and depression take over your life.

They steal your pleasure. They kill your enjoyment. Life becomes boring and monotonous because you stop living, you’re only existing.

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21. The successful but broken saga

Can your success cripple your existence?

Yes, success is wonderful! It enables you to afford luxuries most people only dream of. You can provide for yourself and your family. And you gain lots of friends.

But can you become a "success addict?"

Can you get so bored with normal life that you feel like ripping your hair out?

The truth?

Because of this habit...

You become like an adrenaline junkie who's forever driven to conquer new skills and master new knowledge.

And Sadly, life becomes mundane as you become frantic for your next fix.

This drive results in constant high-stress levels. It promotes self-doubt and anxiety that pop out of nowhere.

And Like a pop star who's no longer popular, this habit can turn you into a bitter person.

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22. The leader's domestic battle

Can your leadership spirit ruin your relationships?

So you are the leader of the pack.

Everyone in your clique listens to you. No one challenges you.

You delegate tasks to people, even though you are not at work, and you are not their boss.

You come up with Ideas for everyone else to follow. And you’ve become used to being in this position in the minds of all your friends.

But, problems arise when your spouse or business partner has the leadership habit too. This leads to disagreements and frustrations. At extremes, this habit can cause bitterness, depression and anxiety problems.

"Can your leadership spirit ruin your relationships?"
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23. Refusing to be a control freak

Can your fairness make you a walkover?

You have been at the mercy of controlling manipulative people. Like your parents, partners, friends and workmates.

So, the thought of being like any of them makes you want to vomit.

So you work hard to ensure you don’t become controlling.

You try your best to avoid controlling your kids, but then they become unruly and difficult to manage.

You try your best to avoid controlling your partner or spouse. But then you end up in a relationship where you are being controlled.

This habit becomes a huge catalyst for feeling bitter. Everything feels unfair. You sacrifice so much for people to let them be, and then they abuse, neglect and walk all over you.

"Can your fairness make you a walkover?"
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24. The responsibility ambush

Is your responsible nature poisoning you?

In truth, responsibility certainly has its benefits.

Essentially people value you because they can entrust important things with you. Employers can trust you with your job.

And you hope to gain the benefit of having friends who you can depend on as well.

But, when responsibility becomes habitual, you’ll carry the world's problems on your shoulders.

You'll frequently take on other people’s worries and problems. At the same time, you’ll feel bad about burdening others with your problems and needs.

As a result, the sheer weight of everything you feel responsible crumbles you. Creating massive amounts of stress and anxiety

This habit is common for people diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and depression.

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25. The organizer's crucifix

Can your planning and organizing skill drive you "out of control?"

Are you your family’s organizer?

And are you always saying yes to requests to plan events for your friends?

If yes, chances are that you’ve got detailed plans for yourself as well. You already know what you are doing in 3 weeks or maybe even 3 months’ time.

The ability to plan and organize offers the benefits of control, security and peace. You rest in the assurance that everything is in order.

But do you really?

The truth…

If Planning and organizing become habitual, you’ll become so neurotic about your plans that it’ll take over your life.

You’ll see too big a picture as you attempt to cover all eventualities.

And as this habit takes hold, ad-hoc situations become stressful and anxiety provoking. The uncertainty becomes overwhelming. This pushes you to try to plan better. It becomes a never-ending cycle that erodes your sense of self-confidence.

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26. The centre of the party trap

Can your fun bubbly spirit shackle you with loneliness?

This habit is great because people enjoy having you around.

You are the life and soul of the party, forever joking and making everyone laugh.

It provides a feedback loop that makes you feel confident and likeable.

But a massive problem emerges if the exciting person is just a projection that's hiding the “real you.”

Since you can’t be yourself, you’ll never know if people will accept you for who you are. And this eats away at your confidence.

The result…

Social events become draining. Your self-esteem is bashed and you feel constantly lonely even when crowds.

This pattern eventually leaves you anxious paranoid, depressed and burnt out.

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27. The fun lover's isolation

Can the things you enjoy doing shatter your courage?

So, you’ve become very good at doing something. Maybe good at writing computer programs or good at using social media.

The skill gives you a lot of pleasure. So, you spend most of your time doing it.

Sadly, if this skill becomes a habit, it steals away time develop necessary social skills.

This can easily lead to problems like social anxiety, agoraphobia and panic disorder.

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28. The happy bunny's bully

Can pleasing others be your death?

You keep working out how to make things go smoothly for everyone else. And it’s nice to see others happy and contented.

This gets amped up if you are the host of a social event.

So, you create backup plans for everything. And then you create even more backup plans for the backup plans.

But you forget to cater to your own needs and well-being.

This habit is really a protective shield. It stops you from seeing the things you hate about yourself. It hides away the things you hate about your life and your struggles.

And it corrodes your fun by breathing a huge amount of anxiety into your life. And since everyone assumes you are coping, they neglect your emotional needs. This carries on for so long that it leads to a breakdown.

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29. The people helper's crisis

Can helping others lead to bitterness?

You are kind and love to help others. Their gratitude and happiness give you a sense of satisfaction and a shot of self-worth.

But, if helping others becomes a habit, you get lost in the needs of others. You neglect yourself. You neglect your family.

But even worse…

You become a victim to users and abusers who suck your soul dry. People love your sacrificial spirit. They take and take without giving back. It’s like you become a cash cow.

At the extreme, they even demand you meet their needs.

And the outcome…

You feel unappreciated and bitter. You feel like you are good for nothing else. Like people only value you for what they can get from you.

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30. The empathy hoax

Is your empathy making you an angry person?

Normally, empathy makes people more humane. empathy makes you kind. Your heart aches at people’s pain. And you are always there to help and support.

However, if empathy becomes a habit, it is often formed because of a core need to be seen as a likeable person.

You become sensitive to how people relate to you. And you're sensitive to how people treat others.

You expect everyone to understand. You expect them to be empathetic in various situations, be it yours or someone else's. And if people aren’t sensitive, you feel upset, frustrated or violated.

At extremes, you’ll wear your heart on your sleeve even when you don't want to. And you’ll fly into a rage or burst into tears at the oddest of moments.

Then, since you don’t want people to think you are horrible, you’ll start avoiding people and isolate.

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31. The trust isolation trap

Can trusting people lead to your isolation?

When you’ve been hurt or bullied severely in the past, you will most likely keep to a few people you trust. It feels safer because you know they won’t hurt you.

However, if you become dependent only these few friends. You could easily overload them with your problems.

Having more friends allows you to share the weight of your problems across many people. This way you won't overload any one person.

An unexpected impact of this habit is that you lose the skill to develop new trustworthy friends. This can lead to feeling paranoid when around new people. And can trigger problems like social anxiety and agoraphobia.

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32. The family priority gambit

Is putting your family first killing your self-value?

Putting your family members first can make them feel loved and cherished.

However, if this becomes a habit, you train your family members to take you for granted.

They think it's acceptable to dump their problems on you regularly. And you keep having to drop everything you are doing to meet their needs.

Your own needs get ignored as you become a sounding board. Like an unofficial therapist.

So you go through mixed feelings of resentment and feeling guilty that you are resentful.

And this guilt naturally feeds your stress, anxiety and even depression.

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33. Your child protection shield

Can shielding your kids from your negative emotions cause their breakdown?

You believe your kids may be scarred for life if they see you express negative emotions. So, you protect them by hiding your feelings. You try to be strong when you are around your kids.

This forces you to pile up your negative emotions until they burst out involuntarily. It then becomes a source of huge guilt, which can eventually lead to depression.

However, there is a drastically worse consequence.

You children grow up believing that it’s abnormal to express negative emotions. So, they cope by hiding their feelings as well.

They think… “Mum and dad were strong. Why am I weak?”

And as a result, they fail to get help which then promotes a massive meltdown.

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‍

34. The caring parent's nightmare

Can loving your children poison your happiness?

Say what!!

I know, but before you tune me out, I am not asking you to stop being a good caring parent. That will be irresponsible.

But you might be that parent who says “my children come first before anything.”

And whilst this is commendable, surprisingly, it can lead to mental health problems.

Why?

Because this habit makes you neglect yourself and your partner.

You neglect the things that keep you happy and healthy. And this erodes contentment and happiness from your life.

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35. The family health scare

Can prioritizing your family's health drive you crazy?

The health, security and financial needs of your family members are crucial.

Not protecting them would be neglecting and abusive.

However, you can get so caught up in safe guarding your family that you stop enjoying your life.

You become a worry wart.

The fear of a family member dying through ill-health consumes you. This gets so bad that the sound of sirens will plummet you into a frantic imaginary world.

At extremes, you'll even imagine yourself attending your son/daughters burial.

"Can prioritizing your family's health drive you crazy?"
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36. The loyalty plague

Can loyalty to your parents feed your self-loathing?

I am all for being loyal to parents. After all, our parents make massive sacrifices for us. As a parent myself, I know how much parenthood takes from you.

However, there comes a time when you need to accept that your parents may have contributed to your depression or anxiety problems.

Especially if they were…

Abusive

Over protective

Overly loving

Neglecting

Overly critical

Always tough on you

Never showing you that they go through negative emotions too.

Making you too responsible for things from a very early age

Loyalty to your parents blinds you from seeing their contribution to your problems. Which then leads to you blaming yourself 100% for struggling?

In my experience, this deters your recovery from depression or anxiety problems.