How To Stop A Manipulative Family Member From Draining You Emotionally
And a reliable "7 point" checklist that will get you through those difficult times when you have no choice but to associate with your difficult family member.
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Click the link to find out how to avoid them.
Ever wished you could take a holiday from life?
A holiday that resets everything.
Because you know the only way you can go forward is to have some kind of reset button.
You can see what you are now. You can see what’s brought you here.
You've been through a lot in life, had a lot of bad times. And now you are battling anxiety and depression every single day.
But you can’t put back the clock.
You can’t go back and change what you've become.
You see, anxiety or depression on their own can be energy draining, but when they feed off each other, you simply lose the will to live.
And it's worse, when you’ve had to fight these two demons every day for years, trying every medication and every therapy and nothing works.
I mean, how much pain can one person be expected to tolerate?
What is the point? What is the way out?
Are there any answers?
I'll be honest with you, when struggling with depression, achieving all that progress in recovery and maintaining it is really difficult.
However, although its difficult, we can't hide from the fact that there are people who have been able to maintain recovery from their depression.
So what are they doing differently?
Here is a feedback from one of my clients who was depressed from her early teenage years. She was also diagnosed with dyslexia and had some back pain issues too.
Read what she says.
"The sessions have helped me to stop over analysing everything. I am now not getting overly stressed, which has had the effect of helping me manage my depression better. I have been able to wean myself off my antidepressants, obviously with my doctor’s guidance.Now for the first time in ten years I have been off my antidepressants for almost a month, and I am still feeling better than I have ever felt in a long while. In the past my depression would come back with full force within just one week of stopping my meds.What’s strange is that my anxiety is also reduced even though I have been stressed beyond belief. My sleep has improved too..."
Now over to you...
My belief is that this type of recovery from depression is not just for "a select few."
I believe anyone can achieve this once they know the system to follow.
So in this article on depression management, I will be taking you through a five part video series on a system for managing depression better so you too can a have a chance to start avoiding those repeated relapses.
So you've got a Difficult Family Member and you want to stop getting trapped emotionally in his or her manipulative games. In this article, I am going to be sharing one essential tip that can help you move towards achieving this.
Then at the end I will show you where you can download a 7 point check-list that
How do you cope with a co-worker who's always
dominating and bullying you?
Especially when many people have resigned because of this person and it
seems everyone, even upper management is afraid to do anything about
Today, I’ll be sharing 3 highly effective tips for coping better when someone is bullying you at work.
The third tip is crucial because it highlights the main reason why many people loose to their bullies. For this one reason alone, many bullies have been successful in getting other people fired or getting them to resign.
So read on to learn how to avoid this
It just sneaked up on me. I did not see it coming and then BANG!
I'll tell you more in a second.
But first, I want to raise the roof with a mighty shout. StressTherapist.net is back in action on-line. I'll be giving you a sneak preview to what we have in store for you in a sec.
First a mighty big thank you to all of you, "our fans," for your patience and for still staying with us this long.
So what was the BANG I just mentioned about?
I keep ruining things for myself... I am ruining things for everybody... Why is this happening to me?
I am an adult, I should be able to cope... Why can't I change the way I think?
I feel like I am a child.It’s my fault, I am not handling things well... I am missing out on so much.
There is a lot of emotions surrounding this way of thinking that can be exhausting.
It changes you as a person.
It can push you to that place where you lose trust in yourself.
It can make you end up not liking yourself, making you think you are a horrible person.
Or make you hate certain traits about yourself.
Recently, I came across this new research study suggesting that...
This highlights two extremely important points for anyone who wants to learn how to cope better, emotionally.(See link to the study below).
If you blame yourself for being depressed, anxious or stressed, and you've been bullied in the past, this is a good time to put the blame in the right place.
In other words, your depression, anxiety, or stress is not because you ARE NOT trying hard enough to recover, but because of the impact of the bullying/abuse on you.
If bullying can have this much of an impact on a person, imagine what the impact of bullying ourselves is doing to us.
I know I have been saying this a lot recently, but I am not going to apologize for saying it again…
We need to invest time in learning to be kinder to ourselves.
Now, if you can relate to all I have said so far, you’re probably thinking,
“I know this is true, just don't know what to do to be kind to myself.”
And that’s what I intend to address in this article.
It had only been 3 months after her life threatening operation. Fatima, found herself constantly feeling exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. She was frustrated because her body was forcing her to do everything extremely slowly.
She knew how much had to be done for her 2 year old daughter and husband who was out working all the time, and felt massively guilty about this.
And, to make matters worse, her husband was piling pressure on her, insinuating that she was making herself become fat and useless by lazing around the house doing nothing.
I mean, can you believe it?
What do you do when a family member, who thinks they are helping you, but is actually making your life more difficult, doesn’t understand your struggle despite your best efforts to explain things to them?
How do you cope with:-
How do you cope with all of that?
Let's just hope the “pull yourself together brigade” can finally understand and appreciate how difficult this is...
You know, those people who tell you that you are not trying hard enough, or people who say things like "If a person wants to change badly enough, they can be less depressed or anxious."
Yes, I am ranting, but these are just a few phrases I constantly hear my clients being told, that really get on my nerves. And for obvious reasons too!
I mean, stop telling people to "Pull Yourself Together" Or, "Be Strong."
I know, most people mean well when they make statements like this. They are either trying to help or they are trying to ease the discomfort they feel from seeing their loved ones struggling.
However, the problem with statements like this, is that rather than being encouraging, they can make you doubt your own emotional struggle or illness and then make you think thoughts like-
“Am I faking it?”
“Is the problem I am facing really that big?”
“Maybe this is normal, maybe I am just not as strong as everyone else...”
Stacey came to me with this huge frustration
"I find myself over thinking every possible threat or minor thing in my life, so much so, they gain control over me and become all too consuming."
“If not for Maple, I would have ended everything by now”
Maple is the name of her dog, an adorable Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
“The problem is that although I love every moment I spend with her, the minute I have to put her down, all the negative painful thoughts come rushing back.”
You know how those negative thoughts keep flooding back as soon as you stop doing something engaging or important?
Well, in this article I’d like to share how Stacey used my Bonjela Technique, and the comfort she experienced from Maple her Cavi, to overcome her persistent over thinking problem in 30 days.
I call this technique the Ultimate Pet Support Method.
Then I’ll show you where you can download a 100% free worksheet that walks you through exactly how she did it, so that you can potentially get similar or better results.
Here's the huge problem,
Past painful and negative experiences can keep impacting our lives and keep fuelling anxiety and depression for many years if we do nothing about them.
Many people try harder to bury or forget past
distressing thoughts and memories by keeping busy or employing various
forms of distractions.
But this tends to leave them feeling more exhausted, not able to relax and unable to enjoy the good things they have in their lives right now. Like enjoying spending time with their kids and loved ones.
Some people try harder to block away the distressing memories by using alcohol or illicit drugs.
And whilst this can be powerful in creating relief from the thoughts. The relief is only temporary at best, and this approach will keep you needing to rely on illicit substances, robbing you of ever being able to develop your own emotional coping skills.
Lastly, other people try harder to stop the distressing thoughts by bullying or being harsh and rude to themselves. Sadly this often leads to more frustration, causing people to dislike themselves for not being able to stop.
The end result of all these tactics is an increase in the frequency of painful thoughts and an increase in the intensity distressing feelings one is constantly experiencing. At the extreme, you find that you can stop yourself from falling apart so frequently.
But it doesn't have to be that way. That’s why, in this real life video I will be sharing with you later in this article, I want to show you how one of my former clients used my bonjela technique to stop two distressing thoughts and the painful feelings generated that made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach.
And she was able to achieve this within 10 minutes.
Ever had to take a lot of sick days off work?Maybe due to anxiety, stress or feeling depressed.
Or maybe due to the impact of a physical health condition like diabetes, fibromyalgia, or chronic fatigue.
Most days, when you do go into work, you're just forcing yourself to go in. Even though you know you don't feel well enough.
And whilst at work...
You do your best to keep up with everyone's expectations.
But, despite all your hard work, it's clear that no one appreciates that you are working twice as hard as everyone else because of your difficulties.
This is a real problem that can get exhausting and soul destroying.
It makes you feel like there's no point carrying on.
But you can't just drop your Job. Cause who'd pay the bills?
Do you tell your boss that you are struggling, or do you just keep pretending that you are okay?
Should you open up to let people know what you are going through?
Or do you just allow people to BULLY you into pushing yourself harder just to avoid harassment, discrimination and negative judgements?
Granted, this is ONE Hell OF A DECISION TO MAKE!
But, before you make that decision, here's a crucial point to consider.
The greatest lesson I've learnt about recovering from depression is that we can only recover fully from it when we are able to separate ourselves from the symptoms of depression.
In my experience of working in rehab for depression. I am amazed that almost all the clients I have worked with had a tendency to see their depressive symptoms as an annoying and sometimes embarrassing extension of their character and personality.
In this article clarify how this problem entraps people in a lifelong experience of depression so that you can avoid this trap.
Then I will share a quick but surprisingly effective 4 step practical strategy I call The Self-generated Observer’s Perspective Method, which can help you avoid getting entangled in this trap.
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