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Why setting boundaries in relationships can help you avoid depression

Is it selfish to prioritize yourself?

Do you always feel like your priority is to others?

You have a priority to your job, to not disappoint your boss or workmates.

Or you have a priority to your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, mum, dad, kids etc...

And when you are depressed...

You feel like you should be well for them, so they don't get worried about you.

So, whenever you strive to get better it's more to avoid hurting or disappointing others. Like you owe it to others more than yourself.

You're convinced you are not worthy enough to be well for you.

But did you know that there's an emotional danger to thinking like this?

This mindset causes you to hurt the people you are trying to protect.

And as icing on the cake, it locks you in deeper into depression too.


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Trying to force your depression down to control it rather than giving yourself time to heal, will still impact the people you're trying to protect.

Yes, It's a good thing to sacrifice yourself for others.

But the bottom line...

This system is a time bomb. You put more and more on yourself until you can't cope with it anymore.

And once you are worn out, you'll still fail and hurt people anyway. Your work will suffer and your boss will still be disappointed. Then the guilt you feel from having to take time off will depress you even further.

Now here's the irony...

When you learn to believe you need to heal yourself for you, you actually start protecting others too.

Prioritizing yourself helps you look after yourself better in the way that you can cope better emotionally. This then helps you fulfill your roles and meet your demands at work.

But more importantly, this helps you be stronger for the people you love

Written by Adewale Ademuyiwa



Twice a month I hop on a conference call to teach, answer questions, and give feedback to members of the Take Back Control Program.

If you'd like to succeed at learning how to cope emotionally without wasting years making mistakes because of trial and error, then come join us.



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