How to squash morning depression

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Free PDF Guide:

What's holding you back from truly embracing your worth and living the life you desire?

Understanding the Roots of Self-Doubt and Shame

Negative Childhood Experiences Shape Our Thoughts.

Childhood is a time of discovery and exploration, where experiences shape who you are today.

Negative childhood experiences can have a lasting impact on your thoughts. When you were growing up, if someone in your life constantly belittled or criticized you, it could lead to shame and self-doubt.

This type of criticism creates negative beliefs about yourself that become deeply ingrained.

You might believe you're not good enough, smart enough, or worthy.

These beliefs can cause you to feel inadequate in many areas of your life. Shame is a feeling that says you're worthless and unlovable.

When someone consistently puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, it's like they're saying those things are true. For instance, if your parents constantly compared you to siblings or other kids at school, it could make you believe there's something wrong with who you are.

Negative childhood experiences can shape our thoughts and create deep-seated shame and self-doubt. These beliefs often go undetected because we're not even aware of them, but they influence how we see ourselves today.

Unmet Expectations Create Low Self-Esteem Patterns.

It's not uncommon to feel like your mind is racing, wondering where these feelings of self-doubt and shame are coming from. You see, our minds can create unrealistic expectations about ourselves and others.

When reality fails to meet these lofty standards, it can be disheartening and even lead to low self-esteem patterns. Think back to a time when you were young and eager to please your parents or guardians.

Perhaps they praised you lavishly for achieving something, but only momentarily before moving on with their own lives. This fleeting attention can create an unhealthy desire within us for constant validation from others.

When this doesn't happen, it's easy to feel like we're not good enough.

But what about when these expectations come from ourselves? Often people set the bar too high and beat themselves up over small setbacks or perceived failures. For instance, you may have always dreamed of being a top performer in your class.

So, when you receive an average grade on a test, it can be devastating to your sense of self-worth. This constant striving for perfection can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy when reality doesn't match up.

And let's not forget the societal pressures we face from others' expectations. The media bombards us with unattainable beauty standards, celebrity role models, or seemingly flawless personalities.

You start to compare yourself unfavorably to these curated images and wonder why you're not like them – perfect hair, a toned physique, or a charming smile.

Before long, feelings of self-doubt creep in as we struggle to meet these unrealistic expectations.

Comparing to Others Fosters Feelings of Inferiority.

When you compare yourself to others, it's like a constant reminder that there are people who do better than you.

They're more successful, richer, smarter.

and the list goes on. This kind of comparison creates feelings of inferiority because your mind is constantly focused on what others have achieved compared to what you've accomplished.

And since everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, it's like comparing apples with oranges - unfair and misleading. For instance, a friend might get a promotion at work while you're still stuck in the same role.

Or someone else gets married earlier than you do. These comparisons make you feel small or inferior because your focus is on what others have achieved rather than celebrating your own successes.

Comparing to others also fosters feelings of shame when things don't go as planned for them either - like a public failure, an argument with a partner.

and the list goes on. And that's where self-doubt creeps in - making you believe you're not good enough or capable enough.

For example, if your friend fails at something they tried hard to achieve, it can make you think about all the times when things didn't go as planned for you too.

And those experiences of failure become like heavy weights on your self-confidence - making you doubt yourself more and more each time. In the end, comparing to others only leads to feelings of shame and inferiority because there's always someone else who's "better" than you in some way or another.

It keeps your focus outside of yourself instead of on what makes YOU unique and special - like your strengths, skills. and experiences.

So why not celebrate YOUR achievements, no matter how small they may seem?.

Recognizing the Negative Patterns in Your Thought Process

Thoughts of Perfection Fuel Self-Doubt and Fear.

When you think about perfection, what often comes to mind is a flawless performance, mistake-free and errorless.

But the truth is that perfectionism can be a major fuel for self-doubt and fear. Perfectionists tend to focus on flaws they see in themselves or others, which leads them down the path of negative self-talk.

This thinking style assumes nothing less than perfect behavior or performance from yourself or others. When you don't meet these unrealistic expectations, disappointment and frustration follow as a result.

For instance, if you're trying to finish a task on time but notice one minor mistake, your mind goes into panic mode: "You'll never be good enough! You should have done it differently!".

The pursuit of perfection can also lead to fear of making mistakes or being rejected. This fear can create anxiety and make you hesitant to take risks, share ideas, or try new things.

Imagine having an idea at work but worrying that others will criticize your approach: "What if they think my solution is flawed?" Fear takes over and shuts down any progress before it even begins.

In conclusion, the relentless pursuit of perfection can be a major source of self-doubt and fear. By recognizing these negative patterns in thought processes, you'll be better equipped to deal with them head-on, rather than letting them dictate your actions or decisions.

Disempowering Voices, Empowering Truths Inside You.

When you're trying to recognize the negative patterns in your thought process, it's essential to understand that a racing mind is often filled with what-ifs and worries about something. A significant part of this pattern is disempowering voices.

These are usually internalized voices from past experiences or societal pressure that tell you're not good enough, capable, or lovable.

For instance, if your parents constantly criticized you as a child for being late to get ready in the morning and making them miss their favorite TV show, then it's possible these voices might have become internalized. Now every time they see themselves getting late even an hour before the scheduled start of their daily routine activity, this voice tells them something is wrong with themselves.

On the other hand, empowering truths are what make you truly happy and fulfilled in life. These can be found inside yourself through mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling that help you focus on your inner self.

When practicing mindfulness, you start to recognize your thoughts for what they truly are – just simple patterns of the mind - and not a definition of who you are as a person. This awareness gives birth to compassion towards yourself and allows positive emotions like happiness, peace, or contentment to fill up your heart.

As you learn to recognize these negative patterns in your thought process, remember that it's essential for personal growth because disempowering voices keep you from living a life that is authentic and fulfilling.

So take the time today to acknowledge those voices and remind yourself of the empowering truths inside.

Breaking Free from the Prison of I'm-Not-Good-Enough.

The power of recognizing negative patterns in your thought process lies within its ability to set you free from the shackles of self-doubt.

The root cause of this prison is often rooted in the deeply ingrained beliefs and experiences stored within. Self-sabotaging thoughts, like "I'm not good enough," can creep into your subconscious mind and dictate your every move, crippling your confidence and potential for growth.

For instance, a childhood filled with criticism or negativity from others can leave lasting scars on one's psyche, manifesting as self-doubt in various aspects of life.

However, the key to breaking free lies within acknowledging these negative patterns and actively working against them. This is achieved through mindfulness practices such as recognizing when these thoughts arise, labeling them for what they are - mere fabrications designed to hold you back - and replacing them with constructive affirmations that promote positivity and self-love.

Shifting from a focus on imperfections to highlighting strengths can have a profound impact on one's mental well-being.

This takes us to the issue of imposter sndrome.

The Impact of Imposter Syndrome on Relationships and Mental Health

Faking Confidence, Feeling Like a Fraud.

When you're suffering from imposter syndrome, you might feel like a fraud for various reasons. Maybe someone at work or in your personal life made a mistake and now you think it's because they saw right through to the "fake" underneath.

But let's look closer – is this really about being fake? Or are we just trying too hard?. Think of all the times you've put in extra effort, only to feel like it was never enough.

If your confidence stems from pretending to be someone else or hiding your struggles – that's not real confidence at all.

The truth is, true confidence comes from embracing who you are and what you can do well. When we focus on being authentic and kind instead of perfect, our relationships thrive.

We become more empathetic and understanding towards others because we're not so focused on ourselves. So it's time to stop faking it – let your true self shine! The sooner, the better for your mental health too!.

By dropping that mask of perfectionism and embracing our genuine selves, relationships flourish. We feel more confident in who we are because we're not trying to be someone else.

And isn't that a beautiful feeling?.

Imposter Syndrome Ruins Relationships and Sleep.

Racing thoughts at night are a common problem that can ruin relationships and sleep. Firstly, having imposter syndrome is like carrying an extra weight in your mind.

You start overanalyzing every situation, replaying conversations in your head, second-guessing yourself, and wondering what others think about you. You find it difficult to relax because your brain won't stop working through everything that could've gone wrong or might go wrong tomorrow.

This leaves you feeling exhausted and anxious. Secondly, people with imposter syndrome often struggle with intimacy in their relationships.

They may avoid opening up about their thoughts and feelings due to fear of being judged or rejected.

You find it hard to connect with your partner on a deeper level because you're too busy trying to convince yourself that you're not good enough, smart enough, or worthy. As a result, imposter syndrome can lead to ruined relationships and sleepless nights.

You're stuck in your head replaying the same thoughts over and over again.

It's like being trapped in a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and fear. Your mind is constantly racing with negative thoughts, making it impossible for you to relax or enjoy quality time with loved ones.

Remember that imposter syndrome is not unique to you. Many people experience this feeling at some point in their lives.

The key is recognizing the pattern and seeking help to overcome it.

Fake it Till You Make It? Not Always.

The weight of self-doubt that comes with Imposter Syndrome can be crushing, affecting not just our mental health but also the relationships we build around us. It's like a dark cloud following you everywhere, making it hard to shake off the feeling that you're just pretending to know what you're doing.

The root of this issue lies in your deep-seated fear of being discovered as a fraud - the constant worry that others will eventually uncover your supposed "mistakes" and expose your true self. This feeling is often fueled by negative self-talk, criticism from others, or past experiences where you felt like an imposter.

For instance, have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone asked for your opinion or expertise only to be met with uncertainty and doubt? Or perhaps there was that one time when you presented something at work or school, only to receive criticism about its quality. These experiences can leave deep scars on our self-confidence.

But here's the thing - acknowledging these feelings is the first step towards overcoming Imposter Syndrome. By accepting your emotions and doubts as normal parts of being human, you're already one foot closer to breaking free from this toxic cycle.

For instance, try reframing negative self-talk by swapping it with more realistic and compassionate language.

Instead of "I'm such a fake," tell yourself "This is just my brain's attempt at protection - I'll face it head-on." When someone asks for your opinion or expertise, remember that you're not being asked to be perfect; they want your honest input.

So the next time Imposter Syndrome rears its ugly head, know this: it's not about being "real" or "fake"; it's about embracing vulnerability and growth. By doing so, we can learn to live with our doubts and fears while still pursuing our passions with confidence.

Identifying and Challenging Negative Self-Talk

Silencing Self-Doubt with Reality Checks.

When negative self-talk starts to creep in, it's essential to identify and challenge these thoughts.

Reality checks are a powerful tool in silencing self-doubt. The first step is to become aware of your inner dialogue.

For instance, you might catch yourself thinking "I'm such a failure" or "This will never work out." By recognizing these thoughts, you can start to examine their validity and challenge them with reality. Another key aspect is to focus on the present moment.

When self-doubt arises, it's often rooted in past regrets or future worries. Engage your senses by paying attention to what's happening around you right now – sights, sounds, smells.

Focus on these sensations and let go of negative thoughts. By combining awareness with present-moment focus, you can learn to recognize and challenge negative self-talk.

As reality checks become a habit, your mind will start to shift away from self-doubt and towards a more balanced perspective – one that acknowledges imperfections but still believes in its potential for growth.

The Power of Reframing Negative Thoughts.

When you hear negative self-talk, it's often in your head, a constant companion that can be exhausting and debilitating.

But what if I told you there was a way to challenge these thoughts and turn them into something positive?.

You see, our brains are wired to focus on the negative aspects of ourselves and situations. It's like we're always looking for things that could go wrong, rather than all the good things that have gone right.

For example, when you make a mistake at work or in your personal life, do you beat yourself up over it? Do you say something like "I'm such an idiot" or "What's wrong with me?" Maybe instead of focusing on all the ways things could have gone better, try reframing those thoughts to focus on what did go well. Reframing your negative self-talk is a simple yet powerful technique.

It allows you to look at situations from different angles and find solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

When something doesn't go as planned, try reframing those thoughts by saying "This isn't the end of the world" or "What can I learn from this experience?" Instead of getting stuck in negative thinking patterns, you're opening yourself up to growth and learning.

So how do you challenge your negative self-talk? Start by recognizing when these thoughts are creeping into your head. When that happens, take a deep breath and try reframing those thoughts.

Remember, the power is always in your hands – don't let fear and negativity hold you back any longer.

Letting Go of Blame and Taking Responsibility.

When you blame others for your problems, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity.

This can make you feel like a victim and take away any sense of personal power. You may start blaming others because you don't want to face the discomfort or uncertainty that comes with taking responsibility for yourself.

But this blame game only keeps you stuck in your old patterns. When something goes wrong, do you immediately think about what someone else did or should have done? Do you replay conversations and situations in your mind, trying to figure out who was right or wrong?.

The truth is that when things go sideways, it's usually because of a combination of factors - including the choices we make. Blaming others can help us avoid this uncomfortable reality.

For example, maybe you got stuck in traffic and were late for work due to construction on the road.

But was there no way you could have left earlier or taken an alternate route?. So what does letting go of blame really mean? It means taking responsibility for your choices and actions.

This doesn't mean that others can't contribute to your problems - they definitely can. But by blaming them, you're only giving away control over your own life and happiness.

Practicing Compassion and Forgiveness Towards Yourself

Be Gentle with Yourself, Not Critical.

You often feel the need to be hard on yourself, because you're convinced that's what will get things done. But in reality, being critical and judgmental towards yourself is only causing more harm.

This self-criticism stems from a deep-seated fear of failure or not living up to your own expectations. You might feel like you're constantly falling short, even when others tell you otherwise.

You beat yourself up over little mistakes, letting them snowball into bigger problems in your mind. You dwell on what went wrong and how could have done things differently.

The irony is that self-criticism often leads to feeling more stuck, not less.

It's like trying to push a heavy weight uphill – it gets harder and heavier the more you try.

You might feel overwhelmed by all these negative thoughts and emotions, making it difficult for you to make progress or take risks. So what can you do instead? Practice compassion and forgiveness towards yourself.

Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience – just as a close friend would treat a struggling loved one. Remember that everyone makes mistakes; they're an inevitable part of life.

Instead of focusing on what's wrong, try to see the bigger picture and learn from your experiences. By being gentle with yourself, you'll open up space for growth, improvement, and most importantly – self-acceptance.

Forgive Your Past, Focus on Progress.

Practicing compassion and forgiveness towards yourself is crucial for your mental well-being. It's a skill that can be developed over time with practice, self-awareness, and patience.

Forgiving yourself means letting go of guilt, shame, or regret related to past experiences.

Holding onto these emotions can weigh you down and affect how you approach the present moment.

When something goes wrong in your life, it's natural to feel responsible for the outcome. However, blaming yourself is not a constructive way to handle the situation.

By holding onto guilt or shame related to past experiences, you are likely preventing progress from happening now. You're keeping yourself stuck in an unhealthy cycle of self-blame and negativity.

Your past does not define your present moment. It's crucial that you learn how to acknowledge what has happened without getting caught up in it.

You can start by practicing mindfulness, focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on regrets or worries about the future.

Mindfulness involves being aware of your thoughts and feelings as they arise, observing them without judgment.

This helps you develop a greater sense of self-compassion and understanding towards yourself. By accepting that things went wrong in the past but are not holding onto it, you can finally begin to move forward.

Remember that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing what happened.

It means releasing yourself from any pain related to those experiences.

Forgiving your past and focusing on progress is a powerful way of cultivating self-compassion and inner peace.

Treat Failure as a Lesson Learned.

When you fail, whether it's in a big or small way, it can be hard to bounce back from the feeling that you've let yourself down. But what if failure wasn't something to beat yourself up over? What if instead, you could view each and every experience as a lesson learned?.

You see things differently when you're on top of your game, but when you hit rock bottom, it's amazing how quickly perspectives can shift. : Think about that moment in time where everything seemed to be going wrong, except for the thought pattern playing in your mind - "What did I do wrong?" It's not easy letting go of perfectionism and embracing imperfection.

When you start viewing each experience as a lesson learned, it allows you to move forward faster. You learn from your mistakes and keep moving without getting stuck on what could have been done differently.

So the next time something goes wrong, remember that failure is not about being good or bad at anything - it's just an opportunity for growth and improvement.

Replacing Shame with Empowerment and Confidence

Letting Go of Shameful Past

When you're stuck in a shame-filled past, it can be challenging to move forward and build the confidence you desire. This is because your experiences from that time are still influencing your thoughts and behaviors.

Shameful memories often involve feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or worthlessness.

They make you question your own value as a person. You might remember a specific event where you felt embarrassed or humiliated in front of others.

You may think about how it could have been prevented and replay the scenario over and over again in your mind.

But here's the thing: holding onto shame only perpetuates feelings of low self-worth, causing you to doubt your abilities and fear rejection.

When you're trapped by memories like these, it can feel impossible to let go.

But remember that dwelling on the past is not doing anyone any good – least of all yourself. The key is finding empowerment in the present moment.

It's about acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments, rather than focusing on shame-filled moments from long ago. By shifting your attention towards what makes you strong today, you're able to release the weight of shame once and for all, replacing it with confidence that stems directly from who you are right now – flaws and imperfections included.

Empowering Self-Talk for Confidence Boost

Shame can be a heavy weight on your heart, making you feel worthless and powerless.

But when shame takes over, it's crucial to recognize that this feeling is not the truth about who you are.

When shame arises, replace those negative thoughts with empowering self-talk. This will help shift your focus from what' s wrong with you to your strengths and accomplishments.

Instead of saying "I'm a failure," say "I made a mistake, but I can learn from it.". Replace "I'm not good enough" with "I did my best, and that's something to be proud of.".

When shame creeps in, remember your past successes. Focus on the things you're doing well.

The way we talk to ourselves matters. Words have power, so use empowering language whenever possible.

Practice saying affirmations like "I am strong and capable," or "I trust myself and my abilities.". When feeling shame, try replacing it with confidence-boosting phrases that acknowledge your worthiness.

Remember, you have the power to transform shame into empowerment.

By adopting empowering self-talk, you'll build confidence and move closer to becoming the person you're meant to be.

Redefining Success and Perfection in Business and Life

Redefining Success Without Compromising Identity

The elusive concept of success and perfection. We often think of them as destinations we're striving to reach, but in reality, they are merely labels we've assigned to certain states of being.

Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword; on one hand, it drives us to excel and achieve great things, but on the other hand, it sets unrealistic expectations and breeds disappointment when those expectations aren't met. Success is often tied to these lofty standards, making it difficult for us to acknowledge our achievements.

The problem lies in the fact that we've come to associate success with a specific outcome or destination rather than viewing it as an ongoing process of growth and self-improvement. We're so focused on reaching some mythical state of perfection that we forget about enjoying the journey itself.

For instance, think of all those late nights spent working on a project, sacrificing sleep and social life for the promise of success.

But when you finally reach your goal, it's not as fulfilling as expected because there's always something more to achieve. Or consider how often we compare ourselves to others, constantly feeling like we're falling short or that someone else is doing better.

The solution lies in redefining what these words mean for us personally. Instead of striving for some unattainable ideal, focus on the process itself – learning from failures and setbacks, building meaningful relationships with others, and embracing the present moment.

For example, instead of saying you're a successful entrepreneur because your company has reached a certain valuation or milestone, celebrate your perseverance in the face of adversity. Or rather than comparing yourself to someone else's accomplishments on social media, recognize that everyone is working towards their own definition of success and perfection.

By redefining what we mean by success and perfection, we can release ourselves from the constraints of unrealistic expectations and focus on creating a meaningful life that aligns with our true values. This way, every step forward – no matter how small it may seem – becomes a triumph in its own right.

Perfect Isn't the New Black, It's Just Imperfect

Redefining Success and Perfection in Business and Life: Perfect Isn't the New Black, It's Just Imperfect. Have you ever stopped to think that perfection is a myth? That it's an unattainable goal we set for ourselves because society tells us so?.

The concept of perfection stems from societal pressure.

We're constantly bombarded with images and messages telling us what we should be, how we should look, and what success means.

For instance, when scrolling through social media platforms like Instagram or Facebook, it's hard not to notice the flawless selfies, perfect bodies, and seemingly effortless achievements of others. We can't help but compare ourselves to these curated images.

As a result, we set unattainable standards for ourselves. We strive for perfection in our careers, relationships, and personal lives because that's what society tells us is acceptable.

But here's the thing: imperfection is okay. In fact, it's necessary.

Imperfections make life interesting!. Think about your favorite movies or books.

The characters with flaws are often the most relatable and endearing to audiences.

Their mistakes and failures make them human. In business and life, embracing imperfections can lead to innovation, creativity, and growth.

When we take risks and accept that our efforts won't always be perfect, we open ourselves up to new experiences. So next time you catch yourself striving for perfection, remember that it's okay not to be flawless.

Imperfection is what makes us unique and human.

Living in Harmony with Your Authentic Self

Redefining success and perfection can be a liberating experience, allowing you to live in harmony with your authentic self. It's about rethinking what it means to succeed and achieve perfection.

When we're living according to others' expectations, our sense of identity becomes tied up with their opinions. This creates an internal conflict between who we truly are and who they think we should be.

For instance, you might feel pressured by societal norms or family expectations to pursue a high-paying job, even if it doesn't align with your passions or values. You might feel like you're living someone else's life instead of your own.

Meanwhile, when we focus on our unique strengths and talents, success becomes more than just about achieving goals – it's about being true to ourselves. This allows us to find fulfillment and purpose that goes beyond external validation.

When you're working towards something because it truly resonates with your inner self, the sense of accomplishment is profound. You feel like you've made a meaningful contribution, even if it doesn't fit into someone else's idea of what success looks like.

In other words, redefining success and perfection isn't just about achieving more or doing better – it's about being authentic and true to yourself in every sense. When we align with our inner truth, the external validation becomes secondary; what matters most is that we're living a life that reflects who we truly are.

Written by Adewale Ademuyiwa


How to deal with a difficult family member

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.


How to Cope Better Emotionally: New Video Series

Enter your details then hit
"Let me know when it's out"
And you'll be notified as soon as the video series is released.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.


Free mini e-book: You’ll Be Caught Red Handed.

Cognitive healing is a natural process that allows your brain to heal and repair itself, leading to improved self-esteem, self-confidence, happiness, and a higher quality of life.

Click GRAB IT to enter your email address to receive the free mini e-book: Cognitive Healing. You'll be caught red handed.


We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.