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5 Mindset Shifts to Spark Enormous Self-Confidence

Do you ever experience any failures that cause you to question your value as a person?

When this happens, should you listen to your self-critical thoughts?

Or should you, as many self proclaimed guru's say, ignore your negative thoughts?

Why is this question important?

Self-doubt is like a cold that lingers on, getting worse day after day until finally, it gets so bad it becomes a raging case of the flu.

Self-doubt is one of those things in life that will only get worse if you ignore it. Because no matter how much you try to ignore it in order try to remain positive, self-doubt can still do you massive damage under the hood.

And for most people who become a victim of the stealthy attack of self-doubt, It is extremely surprising to them how they went from being a very confident and energized person to being a completely lost, drained, and hopeless person.

In this article, I’m going to give you 5 simple mindset shifts that will help you overcome all kinds of negative doubts about your ability, doubts about your worth, doubts about whether or not people will like you, and doubts about your chances of succeeding in this life.

If these types of doubts are things you really wish to overcome, then read on...

Mindset shift 1: Self-doubt is a skill deficit and not a character defect.

So first, I start a simple but powerful mindset shift you must understand to be successful at using anything else I will be revealing today.

To break free of self-doubt, you've got to stop thinking of it as a defect in character. And instead, start looking at it as a skill deficit that you can develop.

You see, when we conclude that something is part of our character, we often believe that that thing is a fixed, unchangeable thing.

This belief creates a mentality that we have failed before we even start dealing with it that we are doomed to fail no matter what we try.

So it is important to remember that you are not self-doubt and self-doubt is not you. It is something separate from you.

Secondly, It is crucial to remember that self-doubt is not just one massive, unwieldy thing. It is an amalgamation of multiple smaller things. Or better put multiple smaller habits and skillsets.

Mindset shift 2: Treat self-doubt like just 1 massive thing and it will defeat you over and over.

Self-doubt is a term that describes a range of different patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

As an example, there are several types of self-doubt: including...

Existential self-doubt:  Typically deals with whether or not one's life will have any meaning or purpose.

Intellectual self-doubt: Which is the feeling of uncertainty you might have about your viewpoint, thinking, perspective, logic and rationalization.

Moralistic self-doubt: This deals with what you might think about your worthiness. Such as whether you're entitled to your dreams and desires in this life.

Emotional self-doubt: This is associated with how you might feel about your ability to handle your emotions. 

Social self-doubt:  Is tied with how you might feel about how much other people like or respect you. 

My point...

Dealing with your self-doubt as though it is one big thing will only lead to confusion and even more self-doubt.  

First, you've got to determine the specific elements that your self-doubt comprises of and then drill down to the specific skills you need to learn to build up your self-confidence.

Moving on to the third mindset shift...

Mindset shift 3: Use counteracting habits to Instantly boost your confidence

Borrowing a little from the previous mindset shift, it is essential to remember that the only reason self-doubt has become difficult to shift is that certain behaviours and thoughts have become habitual.

Hence, to break free from self-doubt, it is crucial to figure out what those habitual behaviours and thoughts are and then learn new habits that can counteract them. 

The good thing about doing this is that it places your attention on the new habits you are forming, and as soon as these habits get strong, you will begin to notice self-doubt slipping away quickly and naturally by itself.

An excellent example of this is the widespread habit of how we relate to the feeling of self-doubt itself.

Whenever you find yourself in the sea of self-doubt, do you beat yourself up, saying, "why am I so weak and indecisive?" If you keep doing this over and over.

Eventually, it will become habitual. Soon, any self-doubt you experience, no matter how small, will automatically trigger a feeling of weakness,  indecisiveness and worthlessness, even if you don't want this to happen.

So now that you have recognized that this is habit is fostering self-doubt and depression. Flip this whole thing around and start telling yourself it is okay to be indecisive at times. Tell yourself...

"I can learn to gradually train myself to make a choice and learn to cope with the consequence of that choice." 

Then turn this new way of thinking into a habit by practising thinking it over and over until it comes to you naturally. 

Apply this strategy to all the habits that are holding your self-doubt together, and poof... Self-doubt will cease to be a problem.

Mindset shift 4: Ignore self-doubt and lose all your confidence

The fourth mindset shift comes off the back of a prevalent misconception that entraps people in a life of self-doubt.

You see, most people wrongfully believe that if you have self-doubt, you should ignore it and just try to think positively. This belief is a big, big mistake.

It is like me putting you in a room full of poisonous, aggressive and vengeful snakes. And then telling you to lie down in the bed, ignore the snakes and just think positively.

The truth...

Your brain won't allow you to sleep. You won't be able to take your mind off the snakes.

It is the same thing with self-doubt.

You see, a lot of the time, self-doubt exists because your intuition spots a threat. The more you try to ignore your self-doubt and be positive, the worse your self-doubt will get.

Instead, regularly take some time out to listen to what your self-doubt has to say. And write your thoughts down on paper to help you look more objectively at the thoughts.

Then decide if you have to act on the thoughts or treat it as a false alarm. Doing this will help train your brain to become adept at highlighting the correct threats over time.

This self-training then leaves you with the happy result of less anxiety, leading to less self-doubt.

Moving on...

Mindset shift 5: Your Self-doubt is as a result of leaning too much on your strengths

Mindset shift 5 also comes off another massive misconception that will definitely demolish any effort you put into building self-confidence.

This misconception feeds off our wrong opinions of weaknesses.

So, for example,  you may believe that self-doubt is only experienced by those who are not secure. In this case, you see insecurity as the weakness that is stopping you from overcoming self-doubt.

However, I'm afraid that's wrong.

why?

Because all weaknesses only occur because you are leaning too much on an opposite strength. 

For example, you may think that you are insecure because your thoughts are negative, and you feel as if people are against you.

But the reality is that you have grown insecure because you have gotten so good at protecting yourself from negative judgement and harm from people.

Self-protection is a good thing, and we teach it to our children from day one. Like we say, don't talk to strangers.

This advice is valuable and protective, But then we come across so many strangers when we go to a party as teenagers.

That same good safe instruction of don't talk to strangers because it is not safe now causes you to develop social anxiety.

So you can see how self-protection and not insecurity, in this case, is the real culprit.

But why is this important... It is crucial because you could spend an Eternity trying to force yourself to feel more secure, and it just won't happen.

But suppose instead, you work on growing comfortable to relying less on self-protection, all of a sudden. In that case, you will notice yourself feeling increasingly secure, which then drastically reduces self-doubt. 

And that's the fifth mindset shift...

So, in conclusion...

it is true...

Do this to eliminate your self-doubt forever.

It's a massive myth that everyone with self-doubt is weak-willed... That people with self-doubt are nothing but victims.

The truth is that many people who seem to possess strong self-confidence are often blind to the truth of their situation.

As such, they fail to see the obstacles in their path and therefore run into problems they don't expect. And when you run into problem after problem that you were not expecting, what happens?

Of course! you will begin to doubt yourself.

That is how self-doubt becomes a chain that shackles you to a life of negativity and unproductiveness. 

Self-doubt turns them into constant worriers... Self-doubt blocks them from enjoying important moments in their lives... And stops them from taking necessary risks to succeed in life.

However, people who embrace their self-doubt without shame often have a more realistic assessment of their situation... Usually, they are the ones who experience calm, peace and contentment in their life.

And by using the 5 mindset shifts I have shared with you today...

You can prevent self-doubt from becoming that powerful enemy in your life that is shackling you down.

And instead, develop the self-confidence that can anchor your spirit and keep you steady when the winds of pain and change try to blow you over.

Book a consultation with Adewale

Written by Adewale Ademuyiwa
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